Page 58 of Reckless On Ice

Thirty

Knox

I’m so ready to be home. It’s been a week since I’ve seen Ryder in person, and I’m dying to touch him. Having the Vers app and texts for when we’re both on the road has helped us stay connected, but there is nothing like having my hands on the man I’m crazy in love with.

It’s late, and I don't expect Ryder to be up, so when I quietly open the door and see the glow of candles, I’m taken by surprise. I push the door open all the way and gasp at the view. Candles line every surface, with roses and flowers in vases artfully staged around the room, the heady floral fragrance surrounding me as I step inside. Rose petals are scattered on the floor, and sultry music that sounds more like one of myplaylists than Ryder’s is playing softly from somewhere.

“Baby?” I call, looking for the big dumb idiot who made me fall in love with him despite our past and has a big romantic side after all.

Soft steps come from the hallway, and Ryder appears a moment later, wearing one of his game day suits, looking hot as hell in deep green. The suit hugs his frame perfectly and sets off his eyes so they sparkle like molten emeralds in the low light. His hair is less wild, pushed away from his face, and I long to run my fingers through those waves to send them back into disarray. His smile is wide and full of longing and damn does it set me on fire to see that look on his face for me.

I set my bags down, needing to hold him. He meets me halfway, pulling me close and capturing my mouth in a fierce kiss that is all Ryder—a clash of lips, a tangle of tongues, and the sweetest taste I’ve ever experienced. He drinks me in, sweeping me up in the exuberance of his welcome home, and fuck, does it feel good to have someone to come home to like this. To someone who wants me like this. Someone who knows how badly I need to be wanted like this. When we break apart, it’s with heaving chests from our breathless encounter as Ryder buries his face in my neck and inhales me deeply.

“That’s a hell of a way to be welcomed home,” I tell him, sliding my hands up into his hair finally as he nuzzles his nose against me.

“God, I’ve fucking missed you. I couldn’t sleep on the road even with one of your shirts doused in your cologne, andyour bed is too big without you in it next to me.” He grips me tighter, his arms wrapping around me, fingers digging in almost painfully. “Fuck, Knox, I can’t lose you,” he continues, his voice ardent, panicked, and desperate now. “I don't know what’s going to happen at the end of your season or what you want to do, but I’m going to be selfish and just say it. If you don't stay in Atlanta for the Condors, stay for me.” He pulls his face out of my neck and finally looks at me, his lip quivering and his eyes wide with the act of laying his most anguished thoughts out for me to see.

My heart jumps against my ribs, straining to reach into Ryder’s chest and hold his breaking heart. My boy needs me.

“Hey, baby, don’t look like that.” I run my fingers through his hair and take his hand, leading him to the couch and sitting with him.

“I just fucked that all up. I had it all planned out. I set this up so I could welcome you home and show you how badly I want you here, and then I was going to give you this speech I’d worked on that explained why it could work out this way. I even had a list of what you could do, even though I’d be asking you to give up something you love so much. Instead, I just let my fucking mouth run again.” He drops his face into his hands and sighs as I rub his back.

“So the selfish option won out again?” I ask, smiling. It’s so on brand and true to the Ryder I know and love.

“Looks like I’m truly unteachable, even after all these months with you,” he says miserably. “Please don't hate mefor asking you to give up everything for me. I…I understand if that’s not what you want. I just needed you to know where I stand with us and whatI want.”

I tip his chin up with my finger, getting him to look at me again. I kiss him gently, and he eagerly takes the affection before I pull back. “I already told Mark that I won't be taking a contract with another team, even if Atlanta doesn't extend. I’ll retire at the end of this season if that happens. I want to stay with you, too.”

His face transforms from distressed to glowing with jubilation. “Are you serious? You’re staying?”

“Yeah, baby. I want to be here with you. I want to spend time with you when you’re home, or bring your lucky socks to the arena if you forget them. I want to work at the Elysium Gardens with you and have ice cream dates after. I want to make you pre-game meals and sit behind the goal at all your games so I can watch your ass and cheer when you win or hold you if you lose. I just want to do life with you in whatever way that looks like for us, and maybe even have a family someday,” I finish, allowing my shiny, bright dream to peek out of my heart just a little bit to see if it warms Ryder’s heart the same way.

“You’d want a familywith me?” he asks, stunned. “But the way I grew up…my dad…what if I’m…” He looks down, shame weighing heavily on his shoulders as he’s unable to finish voicing his fears, but I know.

“Ryder, you’re not your dad, and you would never hurt anyone the way he hurt you. I would love to have a familywith you and watch you raise a kid to be an incredible, funny, strong, and caring person. You love with everything in you, and it would be an honor to share that love with another little soul who needs it so badly. Just look at what you did for your goldfish.”

“God, you would be the absolute best fucking dad,” Ryder says, looking at me with awe. “I can't wait to watch you with our kids and see how perfect they turn out. Golden children for my Golden Boy.” He smiles wide and looks at the fish tank in the corner. “You know I named the fish Goldie in your honor, too, right? Not just for Goldie Hawn?”

“Oh, shut up, you did not.” I laugh and push his chest, thankful once again for his gift of levity when the mood gets too heavy.

“No, really, I did. Goldie for my Golden Boy. But enough about the fish. I need to fuck you because planning out our future has my dick so fucking hard, and I’ve missed you more than I have words for, so let me show you.”

He stands and pulls me to my feet, then leads me down the hallway to our room. He’s fully moved into mine at this point. Seeing his clothes next to mine in the closet and the canvas print of Goldie on the dresser makes it feel so much more real that this is my life now. It feels more like coming home than it ever has before.

Ryder and I work the knots of our ties and strip out of the suits we’re wearing, mine from traveling, his from his romantic setup to win me over. Once we’re free of all the layers, we attackeach other for real. He tackles me onto the bed, laughing as his hands roam and his lips trace over my skin. He rubs his face against my chest and moans, sending a shockwave of lust streaking through me and all the blood in my body rushing to my cock. His soft beard scratches along my skin in direct contrast to his pillowy lips and wet tongue tracing my abs and heading straight for the V lines he loves so much.

My cock is jerking erratically as he hits sensitive spots, tickling and then making me hiss when he bites my hip. All the sounds leave me when he puts my cock in his warm mouth and sucks the ability to speak right out of me. My head drops back and my eyes close in ecstasy as he works me over, licking and sucking along my shaft and playing with my balls until I think I’ll combust from the overload of incredible sensations. It feels too good in his warm mouth, with his tongue teasing the sensitive head of my cock. I grip his hair and pull him off my dick with a wet pop that pains me as much as it seems to disappoint him to lose his mouthful of cock.

“Ryder, we’ve been apart too long for me to come in your mouth the second I get home. I want you to be buried deep inside of me, coming with me.”

“God, I fucking love you so much,” Ryder says, kissing my hip before hopping off the bed and returning a second later with lube. “Come up here with me,” he says, moving to the head of the bed and motioning me to follow.

I position myself on the pillows next to him, and he kisses me like he can't stop himself, then rips his mouth away witheffort and smiles. He rolls me onto my side away from him and kisses my shoulder as he lubes his cock and plays with my ass until I’m pushing back and writhing, needing him inside me.

“I’m ready for you, baby. Please, I need you to fuck me. I’m desperate to have your big cock splitting me open again,” I beg, pushing my ass back into him, seeking out the pressure and friction I want so badly.

“You beg so pretty for me, Knox. God, I fucking love hearing you needy. I’ll fill you up and come so deep you’ll feel me for days.”

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