Page 6 of Reckless On Ice

Her eyes dart away nervously, and I wonder at the cause. My trepidation is heightened rather than put to rest with her next breath. “This is strictly off the record. I’m not here as a reporter, but as a friend.”

“Okay, that sounds ominous,” I say. “What’s so bad you have to preface it by saying this won’t be quoted in an article?”

“Have you seen the video of Ryder Kingston making shitty comments about you?”

I lean back, my eyebrows drawing together in confusion as I hear a name I never expected to come out of her mouth.Ryder Kingston. Those two words send fear ricocheting down my spine and anger churning in my gut. He single-handedly made my childhood the best thing ever, and my teenage years a living hell.

“No,” I say slowly. “But it sounds like I should look for it now and potentially get my PR team on whatever mess he’s made.” I don't want to do anything in the guy’s favor, not after how we left things when we were eighteen, but I may need to get ahead of this shit for my own good, even if it helps him.

“I’m sorry to be the one to show you.” Lilah chews her lip and flips her phone over, tapping the screen to pull up a video from social media and hitting play. I watch in growing horror as the most beautiful and terrible face fills the screen, those full lips twisted in disgust and hate, with my name on his tongue. It’s a quick video, less than ten seconds, but the damage isdone. Ryder outed me, whether I admit a single thing or not. Anyone who sees this will begin to question my sexuality. My teammates will look at me differently, despite knowing me as well as they can from playing beside them for years.

“Fuck,” I breathe, the sound low and resonant between us.

“That’s not all,” Lilah says, her face full of anger. “I interviewed him at the Hydras media day, and let’s just say it wasn’t a friendly conversation. He didn’t retract his statements; only confirmed he hasn’t spoken with you in over a decade. I made him wish he’d never said anything, though. The big baby left in a huff and wouldn’t answer questions after I had my turn with him.”

“How bad is this?” I ask her, my eyes focused on the table.

Her nails tap a staccato beat against her water glass. “A lot of people have seen the video of him, but the focus has been on how shitty he is for saying what he did, and less on you. Seeing as he’s a major sports star and will be at the forefront of people’s minds because of the new team, he has some clout, but you could bury him or let this fade out of people’s minds with time. I think you should make a statement acknowledging his comments and calling him out for them. It’s not like he knows you now, even if he once did.”

“We grew up together,” I explain quietly. This is probably going to take some food to get through. I pick up the bar menu. “You hungry?”

“I could eat, and the menu looked good.”

I signal for a server, and when the girl approaches our tablewith a smile that doesn’t hint at recognition, I breathe a sigh of relief. “Order anything you want, I’ve got you,” I tell Lilah. She raises her eyebrows at me, glances at the menu one last time, then turns to the server and rattles off a list of appetizers and a local craft beer. I give my order and ask for a fruity cocktail that looks good because I don’t want Lilah to drink alone. Once that’s done, I turn back to Lilah, who is barely containing her grin.

“That’s not what I expected you to get,” Lilah says with a laugh. “I imagined you would be a whiskey neat or an IPA guy.”

“Fuck that nasty shit. I want to enjoy my alcohol, and that’s when I can't taste it. So it’s some fruity drink or nothing for me.” Damn, it feels good to just let that out and not have to hide it from Lilah. I haven't admitted anything to her, and I’m not ready to, but she has to be wondering.

She nods and examines me, cataloging the information. “I’ll be sure to find you the best cocktails should we do this again. So, you and Ryder knew each other?” she prompts, leaning toward me.

“He was my best friend for most of my life. Obviously, things changed, but we started out as close as two kids could be.”

“It must be hard hearing him say those things,” she offers, resting a manicured hand over mine. She has some cool-as-hell nails, done up in Condor's colors and designs.

“It feels very on brand for the Ryder I knew at the end ofthings, honestly. High school wasn’t easy for me, thanks to people like him.”

Our server arrives a short while later with drinks and appetizers, halting our conversation while she quickly sets the plates down. My drink is pink and has a plumeria flower on the sugared rim. I lift it and take a deep breath. This is going to be excruciating, but at least I’ll have something nice to drink.

Lilah taps her pint against my outstretched martini glass and takes a sip before she continues right where we left off. “I take it Ryder was a jerk and probably said a lot of unkind things?”

I laugh, the sound far more bitter than the sweet drink that goes down a little too easily. That’s dangerous, especially when I’m planning to let Lilah have a statement at some point tonight. Fuck it. I finish the pretty little drink and signal the server for another.

“Ryder was insecure and didn’t like being on the receiving end of the torture that is high school boys, especially in sports. He found a way to turn that spotlight on others and became my tormentor.”

“Are you saying Ryder bullied you?” Lilah asks, her voice steely.

I sigh. It goes so much deeper than that, but this isn’t the right situation and outlet for that entire story, so unpacking it will be difficult. “Ryder and I were tight. We lived on the same street and grew up together, like I said. We even did that stupid thing you see in movies and cut our fingers to be blood brothers when we were eight.” I turn my left handover, examining the small scar that bisects the pad of my index finger. Ryder has one that matches.

“That’s actually super cute,” Lilah says, grabbing my wrist and pulling it toward her so she can see the tiny scar for herself.

“Yeah, well, being that close with a guy and showing you care about him gets you labeled when you hit a certain age. When we got into high school, there was this awful junior on Ryder’s hockey team that saw us hanging out a lot and started making fun of Ryder for hisboyfriend. You know how douchebags can be, no matter the age. Whenever we could, we went to each other’s games. I was at a hockey game when Ryder took a nasty hit into the crossbar of the goal, neck at a weird angle and all. He went down hard and didn't get back up. No one likes seeing shit like that, especially not your best friend.”

I pause and swallow hard. It’s still so vivid. The sound of the hit echoing in the rink, Ryder going limp and falling like a rag doll. I felt the abject horror of not knowing if my best friend was going to get up. It wasn't the first time I’d seen him hurt in a game, but it was the first time I couldn’t get to him, and he hadn’t gotten up on his own. I scrub a hand down my face and shake my head slowly before I can continue.

“I was at the glass, screaming for him to get up, working myself up to tears. They finally took him off the ice and out of the game with a concussion. I didn’t get to see him for hours, so I was a mess and this asshole, Commisso, couldn’t let it go. After that, every time he passed me in the hall at school or saw me somewhere, he made some snide remark asking about myboyfriend. That’s when Ryder turned on me, probably to save face with his team and the other guys who were making fun of him, I’m sure. I’m rational enough to know he was probably getting it as badly as I was. But fuck, it hurt like hell to lose my best friend and watch him become someone who hated me instead. He also knew the ways to hurt me the most, since he knew me the best.”

Our server mercifully brings my drink, and I ask her to just start on another now because I’ll need it. This sucks, flaying myself open for Lilah to have the backstory. Numbing the pain feels like an especially smart move right now.

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