Page 27 of To Catch a Latte Thick as Thieves

“Annie?” His eyes popped wide, leaving her no doubt about his opinion of her dress. She felt her lip curl. It wasn’t as if she’d picked it out!

“Fisher?” She approached the door. “What’s wrong? Why aren’t you sitting down?”

“There’s a little problem,” he whispered, but the six bridesmaids straining to hear him all began to whisper and a shriek sounded from the back of the room.

“Problem? What problem?” Eve pushed her way through a sea of purple hoops.

“Tony’s been delayed,” he said.

“Delayed?” Her voice was shrill. “How?”

“Well.” Fisher glanced at Annie as if for support. “We’re not sure, but he’s not here.”

“You’re not sure? He’s not here?” Eve echoed. Letting loose a wail, she threw herself into her father’s arms and began to bawl.

“Eve!” Annie grabbed her friend by the shoulders and shook her. “Eve, get a grip! Tony will be here. Something must have come up, but he’ll be here. You know that man would walk through fire for you.”

“You think?” Eve hiccupped, looking desperate.

“I know so. Now pull yourself together,” Annie ordered. “Someone fix her makeup.”

“Uh,” Fisher cleared his throat. “We could use some crowd control out here. You’ve got three hundred people getting mighty restless.”

“Oh no!” Eve sobbed. “They’re going to think I’ve been dumped at the altar. Oh, I’m just going to die.”

“You’ll do no such thing!” Annie ordered. “Fisher and I will keep them entertained until Tony gets here. Come on, Fisher.”

It wasn’t as if she gave him a choice, Fisher reasoned as he found himself being dragged down the aisle in her bouncing purple wake. Not even pausing for breath, she strode up to the altar and picked up the microphone that would be used to magnify the couple’s vows.

A murmur that grew to a dull roar swept the crowd.

“Is this on?” Annie asked a nearby photographer and blasted the assembly with her question. The answer was obvious.

“Okay then,” she said and it echoed through the cathedral. The crowd gaped at her and Fisher shifted on his feet, unaccustomed to the scrutiny of so many. Annie wasn’t phased in the least. “Good evening, everyone. On behalf of the bride and the groom, I want to welcome you to their wedding. Now, we were talking in the antechamber about weddings and receptions and how people never have much fun at the wedding, but they always have a great time at the reception. Weren’t we, Fisher?”

Annie thrust the microphone in his face and Fisher grunted in agreement. What was she up to? Apparently, he wasn’t the only one concerned. Eve’s mother was doubled over in her pew, whispering Annie’s name. Annie paid her no mind.

“So, we decided to get everyone warmed up for the reception in advance. If I could just have some assistance from the organist?”

A bespectacled man blinked at Annie from the balcony. Annie began to hum into the microphone. “Could you just play this beat?” she asked.

The organist began to work the pedals, mimicking Annie. The low beat from the massive pipe organ filled the room.

“Good. Now if everyone would stand up, Fisher and I are going to teach you the macarena.”

“Annie!” he growled through gritted teeth. “I’m not doing this.”

“Shh,” she hushed him. “Just follow me and you’ll be fine. Don’t worry it’s easy.”

“Annie,” he hissed, but she ignored him.

Turning back toward the crowd, she motioned for everyone to stand up. Most appeared reluctant so she hopped off of the dais and began to grab people’s hands and pull them to their feet.

“Come on, everyone, follow me,” she ordered. Bouncing her hips, she began to sing into the mike.

Her enormous purple skirt began to bob up and down, showing off her legs and when she lifted her arms over her head, she looked as if she’d pop right out of her gown. Fisher sighed. He had no choice but to protect Annie from herself. Moving to stand in front of her, he began to mimic her moves.

“That’s right,” she encouraged him with a saucy smile. “But swing your hips a little more.”

---