Page 136 of The Comeback Summer

I have no idea. I don’t know what’s going to happen with Josh. I don’t know what’s going to happen with the Freedman Group. It feels like everything is burning down around me—like the fire that destroyed Chicago all those years ago.

GiGi had a fascination with that part of our city’s history. Not the fire itself, but the lesson it represented in rebuilding after a setback. Coming back stronger and better than before. But how do I do that if I can’t even see a way forward? If I have no path to follow, no blueprints?

And I know, I know, I KNOW: that’s the point. Growth is scary. Change is uncomfortable. I guess I’m just going to have to trust the process.

I’m going to have to take some steps into the unknown.

Libby, August 21

Hey, Lou.

I promise this isn’t a cop-out, but I think I have to be comfortable with not having an exact plan. I’ve spent my whole life following the steps GiGi laid out for me.

She always used to say that the business would be ours one day, but the other day, I realized that’s only part of what she said.

The whole quote, the words she said to Hannah and me so many times was, “If you and your sister want the business, it will all be yours one day.”

My memory skipped past that crucial first part: IF we want it.

Forty-Seven

LIBBY

The Down & Dirty is this weekend, but instead of amping up, our training has actually slowed down. Hannah says we’ve done the work, now we have to make sure our bodies are rested and have the energy we’ll need to finish the race.

Even thinking the word “race” sends my anxiety through the roof. But I’m not going to stress about something that’s three days away. That’s a Future Libby problem—as is the question about what will happen with our company. We’re not sure if Lou will want to hire us, or if there will even be an “us” to hire. But Hannah and I have agreed to get through the Down & Dirty together before we make any final decisions.

Current Libby picks up her phone and sends a text to Hannah.

Libby:Want to walk home tonight?

My sister pops her head into the office we used to share. She’s moved into an empty office down the hall; we decided that some space could be good for us both.

“You don’t have to text,” she says. “I’m literally three feet away.”

I shrug. “I’m saving my steps for the lake path. It’s a beautiful day.”

Hannah smiles, and I wonder if she’s thinking of the first time we walked home together, how she practically had to drag me every step. Now it’s one of my favorite ways to unwind after work.

“Let’s do it,” she says. “Leave in five?”

Before I can answer, she’s back in her office, changing into her sneakers. Things between us have gotten better since our “Come to Jesus” chat with Lou. (Or whatever the Jewish version of that would be. Come to Moses?)

We may not know what will happen to the Freedman Group—and yes, that uncertainty is scary—but we know what will happen to the Freedman sisters. We’ll both be okay—on our own, and together.

•••

TWENTY MINUTES LATER,Hannah and I are walking up the ramp toward the lake path. It’s still warm, but the breeze off the lake carries a slight chill. A reminder that summer is winding down, and fall is waiting in the wings.

When we reach the top of the ramp, Michigan Avenue is to our left, all bustling and metropolitan, and Lake Michigan is on our right, wild and spacious. I inhale the cool lake air, appreciating how far I’ve come this summer.

Those early days of training seem like another lifetime. I was so hard on my body back then, focusing only on its flaws and imperfections instead of appreciating everything it allowsme to do and experience. My body is my vehicle through life, and I want to take care of it—but also enjoy it.

I still have a ways to go on the whole self-love journey—a lifetime of negative thoughts and perceptions won’t go away overnight—but I’m on the right path.

And to prove how much I’ve grown, I walk headfirst into the next topic of conversation. Something I wasn’t ready to address the other day, but I am now.

“I need to apologize,” I say, “for getting overly involved in your relationship with Josh all those years ago. I had no right to butt in like that. Just because I didn’t mean to hurt you doesn’t excuse the fact that I did.”

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