Page 17 of The Comeback Summer

Across the office, Libby is mouthingHang up! Hang up!

“Yeah, it’d be nice to catch up,” Josh says in my ear.

His voice sounds exactly like I remember: dark chocolate with a hint of gravel. That voice used todothings to me. For years, just hearing it was enough to make me melt into a puddle of love and lust. Now, it makes me feel on edge, like my hackles are rising.

But for some reason I can’t explain, I hear myself say, “Sure.”

Libby mouths,No! No! No!and waves her hands like she’s trying to stop me from jumping off a bridge.

“How’s Sunday?” Josh asks.

“Sunday,” I repeat, like a robot. “Let me check my schedule.”

Libby lunges toward me, trying to grab the phone out of my hand. I swat her away. She grabs a piece of my hair and yanks, making me nearly shout.

“Can I put you on hold for one second?” I say, glaring at my sister.

Josh says sure. As soon I do, Libby is right in my face.

“You can’t be serious! You’re going out with the guy who threw you away like garbage?”

I take a deep breath. “I’m not goingoutwith him. We’re two old friends meeting for coffee.”

She snorts. “Yeah, two old friends who used to bang.”

I roll my eyes, but now I’m replaying memories of me and Josh in bed, in the shower, in the back seat of his dad’s BMW. Mouth, hands, skin; my back arching and toes curling. Yes, he was an asshole. But he was also the first and only man to give me an orgasm.

Which ought to be reason enough toneversee him again—he wrecked me so thoroughly that I haven’t been in a real relationship since. But I have to admit, I’m curious about what he’s been up to. I haven’t seen or heard from him in five years; Libby blocked him on all my social media platforms after the breakup. I wouldn’t mind hearing about his parents and older sister, either. They were like my extra family, and losing them was almost as hard as losing him.

As for Josh, I’m suddenly desperate to know what he’s done with his life.How long did he stay in Australia? Did he end up studying the Great Barrier Reef? Is he still with the girl he dumped me for?Even though it won’t change the past, I feel morbidly fascinated, like it’s a cold case I’m dying to pick apart.

But I don’t want to admit any of that to Libby.

“It’ll be good practice for my challenge,” I say to her. “Maybe I can use it as one of my twelve dates.”

“Absolutelynot,” Libby says. “The dates have to be with someone you’ve never met. Plus, Josh is awful. He’s the evil ex-boyfriend who shows up in romance novels just when the heroine is about to meet her true love! Literally!”

“We’re not living in a romance novel,” I remind her.

“You are—or you will be as soon as I get your profile set up! You just need to be patient.”

“I appreciate the big-sister protective vibe. I do. But, Libs, you have to trust that I know what I’m doing.”

Maybe part of the reason I’ve never been able to move on is because I never got any actual closure with Josh. Like a spreadsheet tab that’s still open.

“And whatareyou doing?” she asks me, raising an eyebrow.

I don’t answer. Instead, I take a deep breath and pick up the phone. “Josh? Sorry about that.”

“No worries. Does Sunday work?”

He’s always been persistent—when he wanted something, he would laser focus on it. For the longest time, that something was me and the goals we shared: marriage, kids, a house in the northern suburbs, balancing our two careers, and being together as long as we both shall live.

But he could also be easily distracted. I watched him try a dozen different hobbies during our years together: bagpipes, unicycling, watercolors, bird-watching. He’d lock onto them obsessively, then discard them and move on to something else. I should’ve been ready for that to happen to me, too.

“You still there?” Josh says, and I realize I haven’t answered.My hands are shaking. My chest is tight. It was much easier when I could pretend like Josh didn’t exist.

But isn’t that the whole point of Lou’s challenge? To push myself? I don’t want to spend my life avoiding uncomfortable situations.

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