Page 73 of The Comeback Summer

He grins and looks away, ducking his head. “Nothing. But if that’s what PR can do, then I’ll definitely be calling you.”

•••

HOURS LATER, WHENI’m finally climbing into bed, I can’t stop smiling. We stayed at the fest until almost ten o’clock—I didn’t buy anything (Hannah put the fear of God into me with the bleak state of our budget), but Adam bought a bowl that was made out of an old vinyl record. When we parted ways, Adam said he’d give me a call next week to talk about my PR ideas for his diner.

It was the best first non-date I’ve ever been on. As much as I thought I already knew Adam, I didn’t know how good he would smell, or the way his laugh rumbles in his throat before coming out in rolling waves, or the way he taps his fingers like there’s music playing inside his head.

I flop against the pillows and Mr.Darcy curls against me. I’m going to stop messaging Adam as Hannah, I decide as Igive my cat a good scratch around the ears. Of course, they’ll still talk a bit to try to reschedule their date, butspoiler alert: Hannah’s going to be really busy the next several weeks and I’m afraid they might not be able to find time to meet.

In the meantime, I’ll keep talking to him. As myself. As long as he reaches out like he said he would.

It was refreshing tonight, talking to him without pretending to be someone else. I didn’t have to talk about murder or math or exercise. And judging by the number of laughs and smiles there were, and the fact that he invited me to go to the fest with him, I think he liked talking to me, too.

My phone buzzes and I grab it—imagining a text from Adam, asking when we can meet again.

My heart leaps at the sight of his name on the screen, but then crashes, landing with a thud in the pit of my stomach.

He messaged Hannah through the app. Not me.

ADAMR:Just checking in. Hope you aren’t still at work.

I swallow down my disappointment. Of course, he’s checking on Hannah.

She came home around ten thirty, but I stayed in my room. I haven’t decided how much I’m actually going to tell her about what happened. She already accused me of having feelings for Adam, but after tonight, that flicker of a crush feels more real. And even more complicated.

Tapping my phone, I answer.

HANNAHF:Hey. I got home a little bit ago. Crisis hopefully averted.

ADAMR:That’s good to hear!

HANNAHF:I’m sorry again about canceling so late. What did you end up doing?

I hit send and bite my lip, waiting for his response, wondering if he’ll tell Hannah about our evening.

ADAMR:Not much

Those two words pull the plug on my night and send all my glowy, happy feelings circling down the drain.

Not much.

I shouldn’t be surprised. Even if Adam had fun with me tonight, it doesn’t mean anything. Adam’s just another in my long list of unrequited crushes who put me smack in the middle of the friend zone—when we said good night, he said he’d call me about my PR ideas. Nothing else.

Life would be so much easier if attraction was mental instead of physical. If men were turned on by a great personality instead of a great body. I close out the app and turn off my lamp, no longer looking forward to whatever dreams I’ll be dreaming tonight.

Crush Your Comfort Zone

THE ULTIMATE CHALLENGE COMPANION JOURNAL

WEEK 6

We’ve reached the midpoint of the challenge, which can sometimes feel like a very dark place. You’ve come so far, but you still have so far to go.

Remember: the middle of the journey is where the growth begins. You’re just not seeing it yet.

Today, take a moment to write about the deepest fear in your mind right now.

Hannah, 7/10

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