Page 108 of Until Next Summer

Neither of us says anything then, and the sound of campers laughing and splashing in the lake drifts down toour hiding spot. The last end-of-summer dance, ever. My heart clenches. There’s got to be a way to make it extra special for Jessie.

I look at my best friend, wearing her usual colorless, comfortable, functional clothes.

“Speaking of the dance,” I say. “You aren’t going to wear khaki, are you?”

Jessie barks out a laugh. “What’s wrong with khaki?”

“Nothing—for everyday wear. But you said yourself, this is the last dance. You should wear something special.”

“I don’t think I have anything special,” she says. “Unless I raid the costume closet.”

“You are not going to the dance dressed as Dorothy.”

“We didBeauty and the Beastlast summer,” she says. “I could be Belle.”

“And Luke could be the Beast,” I suggest, knocking my shoulder against hers.

Jessie huffs and shakes her head. Looks like I’ve stepped on another land mine.

“Do we need to pull another prank?” I ask, cracking my knuckles. “Because I will. I’ll cover his toilet bowl with Saran Wrap.”

Jessie laughs, but her heart’s not in it. “No. I don’t know. Maybe.”

“What happened?”

“Nothing,” Jessie says flatly. “Literallynothing.And I don’t know why I keep expecting anything different. One moment, he’s ridiculously sweet; the next, he’s a total jackass again. He’s just so frustrating.”

“Aren’t all men?” I say, my cheeks burning with thethought of my now-former fling. “Tell you what, he and Cooper can have each other.”

“He’s still being weird?” Jessie asks.

“Very,” I admit.

There’s a lot of hurt in that single word. But I’m sure I wouldn’t feel this awful if I could have just let this summer be fun, so in a way, it’s my fault. I blatantly ignored the rules we made—rulesImade, to try and protect myself from the very things I’m feeling now. Confused. Sad. Missing him so much my heart aches every time I wake up and he’s not with me.

“Have you talked?” Jessie says. “Asked him what’s going on?”

I shake my head. “I tried, but it didn’t go well.”

“What did you say?”

My stomach clenches at the memory of Cooper’s vacant stare. How he looked at me like he didn’t know me. Like he didn’t want to know me.

“I went to the kitchen to talk to him,” I tell Jessie. “I said, ‘Hey.’ ”

“And he said…”

“He said ‘hey’ back, then turned and started washing dishes.”

Jessie exhales a puff of air, which captures how I felt in the moment. Like the wind had been knocked out of me. It should have been fine; it would have been fine if I’d kept things light and fun. Instead, I had to go and fall for the guy.

My stupid, stupid heart.

“And then what?” Jessie asks.

“Then nothing. I walked away.”

I think back to what Dot said about my mom. About me. But she was wrong. I’m not brave. I’m a coward, afraid to hear the boy I like—the boy Ireallylike—say he’s not into me anymore.

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