Page 130 of Battle of the Bookstores

“Well, yeah. Someone told me it’s the best way to get to know a person.”

He says it like it’s a no-brainer. Because he’s Ryan Lawson, a man who knows how to pay attention.

“I’m not sure if you’ve noticed,” he says, “but a lot of yourfavorite books have something to do with love. It’s almost like you’ve been a closet romance fan all along.”

I let out a disbelieving laugh. Maybe he’s right. Maybe all stories are love stories at their core. The search for belonging, the ache of grief, our fumbling attempt to find purpose and connection in this big, confusing world.

Ryan takes a few steps toward me, his expression turning serious. “Listen, Josie—you can’t quit. Not for me—”

“Butyoucan quit forme?” My voice wavers, but I force myself to say what I should have said yesterday, instead of pushing down my feelings and icing him out. “The thought of you leaving…it’s unbearable, Ryan. I want you here, I want youwithme. But if that’s not what you want…”

His eyes soften, and he comes closer. “Not a single part of me wants to leave. I thought…I thought if I stepped back, you could have everything you’ve ever dreamed of—”

“But—”

“I know, you must have felt like I was abandoning you, even though that’s the last thing I wanted.” His voice is gentle, earnest. “Which is why I’m here. Grand gesture. Candles and quotes about love from your favorite books. My heart on my sleeve. Asking you to forgive me.”

“Of course I forgive you,” I say, putting my arms around him. His arms come around me, too, and I close my eyes and breathe him in. For the first time, the ache of all the past abandonments is fading away, replaced by the warmth of knowing that I’m right where I belong.

Finally, we separate, and I wipe tears from my eyes. “What did you tell Xander?”

“I told him he owed you a fucking apology.” His voice is allgrowly, which makes me smile. “And that I won’t come back without you as my co-manager—”

“Oh, I’ll be too busy for that.”

He pulls back, startled. “What?”

I smile up at him. “Can I finally tell you what I’ve been doing all day?”

“Of course. Let’s sit. Your neck has got to be aching.”

He sits in the big armchair and pulls me onto his lap, my feet dangling like a kid’s. I explain this morning’s epiphany, how I knew what I needed to do—and fast, before I lost my nerve.

“I went to Emerson and talked with an academic adviser,” I say in a rush.

His jaw drops.

“I was so nervous,” I continue. “But she looked up my records and said my enrollment can be reinstated. Some of my classes are outdated, and I’ll need to retake the ones I failed that last semester, but it should only take me about a year and a half to graduate.”

“Graduate,” Ryan repeats. He looks flabbergasted. “You’re going back to school?”

I nod. “To finish my degree. And before you ask, no, I don’t know exactly what I want to do yet. Maybe I’ll end up teaching. Or library sciences? Or maybe I’ll end up back here, working with you. I don’t know. But I think the point is being a mind continually in progress, you know?”

“That’s…that’s wonderful. And so brave, Josie. I can’t tell you how impressed I am.”

“Don’t be too impressed yet. I’m going to need even more bravery to show up my first day. I’ll be in classes with people a decade younger than me.”

“You’re starting soon?”

I nod. “Next week. Three classes I need still had space.”

“I’m thrilled for you,” he says, kissing me. Then the light in his eyes dims slightly. “But I can’t do this without you. I don’t know anything about other genres, I have no business sense, I—”

“So you’ll learn,” I cut in. “It’ll be challenging, sure, but you can do it. If you don’t have the confidence in yourself yet, you can borrow some of mine.”

As my words hit him, his eyes turn shiny, and he swallows. “Deal,” he says.

“Plus, you won’t have to do it without me—I need a part-time job,” I say. “Hopefully I can convince my manager to work around my class schedule.”

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