“Both. First he said one, then the other.”
“Which one was first?”
“Come by. I mean, come over. Yeah, then he said ‘stop by.’ ”
“I don’t know if that’s good or bad,” she says.
“Me, neither.” Suddenly, I am overwhelmed by desperation. What is about to happen? “Do you think it’s possible he’s up for all of this? That I might not lose him?”
“I don’t know!” she says. She’s just as stressed out about this as I am.
“People shouldn’t be possibly breaking up with their boyfriends while they are pregnant,” I say. “All of this anxiety can’t be good for the baby.”
“Are you gonna change?” Gabby asks.
I look down at myself. I’m wearing black leggings and a huge sweatshirt. “Should I?”
“Politely, yes.”
“OK,” I say. “What do I wear?” I get up and head to my room, thinking of what to put on.
“How about that red sweater?” she calls up the stairs. “And just jeans or something. Super casual.”
“Yeah, OK,” I say, peeking my head back out to talk to her. “Casual but nice.”
“Right,” she calls to me. “Also, fix your bun. It’s falling over.”
“OK.”
The doorbell rings when I’m putting on mascara. I feel so fat lately. No telling if it’s because I’m actually fat, just think I’m fat, or both.
“I’ll get the door!” Gabby says, and I hear her run up the stairs, away from the front door and toward me. “Before I do, though...” she says when she’s standing outside my room.
“Yeah?”
“You’re amazing. You’re smart, and you’re loving, and you are the best friend I’ve ever had, and you are just the best best best person in the universe. Don’t ever forget that.”
I smile at her. “OK,” I say.
And then she turns away and runs down to get the door. I hear her greet him. I come out of my room and down the stairs.
“Hi,” I say to him.
“Hi,” he says. “Can we talk?”
“Sure.”
“You guys take the living room,” Gabby says. “I was going to take Charlemagne for a walk anyway.”
Ethan bends down and pets Charlemagne as Gabby grabs the leash and slips on a pair of shoes. Then she and Charlemagne are out the door.
Ethan looks at me.
We don’t have to talk about anything. I can tell just by the sorrowful look on his face what he’s here to say.
It’s over.
All I have to do is get through this. That is all I have to do. And when he’s gone, I can cry until I’m a senior citizen.