Page 103 of Maybe in Another Life

The door opens, and the doctor walks by me. I roll myself through, praying the doors close before Nurse Ratched gets to me. But I don’t have time to stop and look. I keep rolling, looking in each room for Henry. I get right to the end of the hall. I turn left around the corner, and then I feel the grip of two hands on the back of my chair. Abruptly, I come to a complete stop.

Caught.

I turn and look at her. “What can I say so that you don’t arrest me?”

She pushes me forward, but she doesn’t answer my question. Suddenly, with my adrenaline now fading, I’m realizing that my stunt was stupid and fruitless. He’s really not here. And unless I come back to this hospital tomorrow and try this again, I’m probably never going to find him.

“I can push myself,” I tell her.

“Nope,” she says.

I laugh nervously. “This sort of thing probably happens all the time, I bet,” I say, trying to lighten the mood.

“Nope.”

We get to the elevator. She hits the button. I can’t look at her. The elevator opens.

“Well,” I say, “I guess this is good-bye.”

She stares at me and then puts her hands back on my chair. “Nope.”

She pushes the two of us into the elevator and hits the button for the fifth floor.

I sit in silence, staring forward. She stands next to me. When the elevator opens, she pushes me toward the nurses’ station.

“Hi, Deanna,” she says. “Can you tell me what room this patient belongs in?”

“I can tell you,” I say to her. “I’m right over here.”

“If it’s all right with you, Wheels, I’d like to hear it from Deanna,” she says to me.

Deanna laughs. “Hannah’s right. She’s just right there.” Deanna points to my door, and Nurse Ratched pushes me all the way to my room, where Gabby is waiting.

Gabby sees the two of us and isn’t quite sure what to make of it. “What happened?”

Nurse Ratched pipes up before I can. “Look,” she says directly to me, “everyone makes bad decisions sometimes, and this is probably a crazy time in your life, so I’m going to let this go. But you will not come down to my floor again. Are we clear?”

I nod, and she starts to leave.

“Nurse,” I say, and then I realize I shouldn’t call her Nurse Ratched to her face. “Sorry,” I say. “What was your name?”

“Hannah,” she says.

“For heaven’s sake! I’m trying to apologize. I’m just asking your name.”

“I know,” she says. “My name is Hannah.”

“Oh,” I say. “Sorry.”

Hannah looks at Gabby. “Is she always this charming?”

“This appears not to be her best day,” Gabby says. I think that’s as close as she can come to defending me. So I appreciate it.

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry for giving you trouble. I was wrong to do it.”

“Well, thank you,” she says. She turns to leave.

“Hannah,” I say.

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