Page 15 of Maybe in Another Life

The bottoms of my feet are black at this point. I can only imagine how dirty I will make Gabby’s shower tomorrow morning.

“Dog me,” I say, holding my hand out, waiting for Ethan to give me the one he has decided is mine.

He does.

“Thank you,” I say. “For buying me dinner. Or breakfast. Not sure which this is.”

He nods, having already taken a bite. After he swallows, he says, “Ah, I made a rookie mistake. I should have gotten us water, too.”

The world is starting to come into focus a bit more now that we have left the bar. I can hear better. I can see better. And maybe most important, I can taste this delicious hot dog in all of its bacon-wrapped glory.

“I know it’s become a cliché now,” I say. “But bacon really does make everything else taste better.”

“Oh, I know,” he says. “I don’t want to sound pretentious, but I really feel like I knew that before everyone else. I have loved bacon for years.”

I laugh. “You were into bacon when it was just a breakfast food.”

He laughs and adopts an affected tone. “Now it’s changed. It’s so commercial.”

“Yeah,” I say. “You probably put bacon on a doughnut back in oh-three.”

“All kidding aside,” Ethan says, “I really do think I figured out candied bacon first.”

I start laughing at him between bites.

“I’m not joking! When I was a kid, I would always put maple syrup on my bacon. Maple syrup plus bacon equals... candied bacon. You’re welcome, America.”

I laugh at him and put my hand on his back. “I’m sorry to break it to you,” I say, “but everyone’s been doing that for years.”

He looks right at me. “But no one told me about it. I came up with it on my own,” he says. “It’s my own idea.”

“Where do you think people got the inspiration for maple bacon doughnuts or brown sugar bacon? All around the country for years and years, people have been putting maple syrup on their bacon and loving it.”

He smiles at me. “You have just ruined the only thing I’ve ever considered a personal achievement.”

I laugh. “Oh, come on. You’re talking to a woman with no career, no home, barely any money, and no potential,” I say. “Let’s not bring up personal achievements.”

Ethan turns to me. His hot dog is long gone. “You don’t really think that,” he says.

Normally, I would make a joke. But jokes take so much effort. I wave my head from side to side, as if deciding. “I don’t know,” I say. “I sort of really think that.”

Ethan shakes his head, but I keep talking. “I mean, this is just not where I thought my life was going, at all. And I look at someone like Gabby or someone like you, and I mean, I sort of feel like I’m behind. It’s not a big deal,” I say, finally realizing that I’m complaining. “Just something for me to work on. I mean, I guess I am just hoping to find a city and stick with it one of these days.”

“I always thought you should be back here,” Ethan says, looking at me directly.

I smile, but when Ethan doesn’t break his gaze, I get nervous. I slap my hands on my thighs lightly. “Well,” I say, “should we get going?”

Ethan stares forward for a moment, his eyes focused on the ground underneath his feet. Then he sort of comes to, snaps out of it. “Yeah,” he says. “We should head back.” He stands up as I do, and for a moment, our bodies are closer together than either of us anticipated. I can feel the warmth of his skin.

I start to back away, and he lightly grabs my hand to stop me. He looks me in the eye. I look away first.

“Something I’ve been wanting to ask you for a while,” he says.

“OK,” I say.

“Why did we break up?”

I look at him and feel my head cock to the side ever so slightly. I’m genuinely surprised by the question. I laugh gently. “Well,” I say, “I think that’s what eighteen-year-olds do. They break up.”

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