Page 53 of Maybe in Another Life

He laughs, too. “I don’t know where that came from. It just popped out of my mouth. I’m as stunned as you are.”

I start laughing so hard that my eyes water. My whole body is convulsing. You realize when your body is broken just how much of it you use to laugh. But I can’t stop laughing. I don’t want to stop laughing.

“I guess it was a little weird of me to say,” he says.

“A little?” I say between breaths.

He laughs at himself with me.

And then, suddenly, there’s a shooting pain down my leg. It is sharp, and it is deep, and it is gut-wrenching. My laughter stops immediately. I cry out.

Henry rushes toward me.

The pain doesn’t stop. It hurts so badly I can’t breathe. I can’t talk. I look down at my feet and see that the toes on my right foot are clenched. I can’t unclench them.

“It’s OK, you’re OK,” he says. He moves toward my IV. “You’re gonna be OK in a second, I promise.” He comes back to me. He grabs my hand. He looks into my eyes. “Look at me,” he says. “C’mon, look at me. The pain is gonna go away in a second. You’re having a spasm. You just have to bear through it. It’s gonna be OK.”

I move my gaze to his face. I focus on him through the pain. I look into his eyes, and he stares into mine.

“You got this,” he says. “You got this.”

And then the pain begins to fade away.

My toes straighten.

My body relaxes.

I can breathe easily.

Henry moves his hands out of mine. He slides them up my arms to my shoulders. “You OK?” he says. “That had to hurt.”

“Yeah,” I say. “Yeah, I’m OK.”

“It’s good we are going to get you up and moving soon. Your body needs to be up and about.”

“Yeah,” I say.

“You did great.”

“Thanks.”

“You gonna be OK? On your own?”

“Yeah,” I say. “I think so.”

“If it happens again, just hit the button, and I’ll be here.” He takes his hands off me. With one swift motion, so subtle I’m almost not sure it happened, he moves a fallen hair out of my face. “Get some rest. Tomorrow is going to be a big day.”

“OK,” I say.

He smiles and heads out the door. At the very last second, he pops his head back in. “You’re badass, you know that?”

I say, “You probably say that to all your patients,” and then when he leaves, I think,What if he doesn’t? What if he only says that kind of stuff to me?

Ma’am,” the dealer says to me. We are sitting at his desk. I’ve already made my decision. “Are you sure you don’t want anewcar? Something fun? Something a bit more... your style?”

I’m considering a used Toyota Camry. The dealer keeps trying to get me to look at this bright red Prius. Admittedly, I’d rather have the bright red Prius. There might have been a time in my life when I would have said “Screw it” and used all my money on the down payment for the Prius, forcing myself to figure out the rest when it came time. Because I love that red Prius.

But I’m trying to make new decisions so that they lead me to better places.

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