Page 96 of Malibu Rising

“No,” Kit said. “It’s fine. I …” She wasn’t sure how to finish her sentence and so, instead, she sat down on the bench in the shower.

Ricky sat down next to her.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I don’t think I’m … this kind of person.”

“What kind of person?”

Kit wasn’t sure how to say it or even what she wanted to say. “The sort of person that wants to make out with a dude in an outdoor shower right now.”

Ricky nodded, forlorn but keeping a smile on his face as best he could. “OK,” he said. “I got it.”

“It’s not you,” Kit said.

Ricky looked at her. She was finally looking him in the eye. “But I should take the hint that this is probably it for us, huh?”

Kit smiled at him, kindly. “I think maybe we should think of ourselves as friends.”

Ricky nodded and stared at his own feet.

“But, like, real friends,” Kit added, trying to get his attention back. “Like I sincerely mean that. If I was going to like a guy … I think it would be you.”

Ricky cocked his head to the side, not quite sure what she was trying to tell him.

“Ricky …” Kit said, unsure if she could even complete the sentence she was starting. But didn’t she have to start somewhere? And wasn’t this the safest place to start? With someone she could avoid for the rest of her life if need be? “It really isn’t you. It’s …”

Ricky caught her eyeline. “It’s what? You can tell me, honestly. I’m a really good listener.”

Kit closed her eyes and let it fly. “What if I told you I like … girls?” She opened her eyes, unsure what she might see on Ricky’s face.

Ricky was quiet for a moment. All Kit could discern was surprise.

“That makes sense. Girls are hot,” he said, nodding. And then he laughed.

And Kit laughed, too. She threw her head back and cackled, her shoulders moving up and down as the laugh ran through her.

Ricky looked up at her and felt even more drawn in, the way her eyes looked so warm and bright, the way her smile created little dimples on her cheeks. He had been so close to the girl he’d always wanted. And now he understood it truly wasnevergoing to happen.But that’s how life goes,Ricky thought. You don’t always get the things you want.

“Thank you,” Kit said. “Thank you for that.”

“Hey, that’s what friends are for, right?” he told her.

“I guess so,” Kit said. “Yeah.”

“So, look, here’s the real question: If we are actually friends, as you say … does that mean you might teach me to surf?” he asked her.

Kit laughed. “You don’t know how?” She really did like him. He was easy to be around.

“I’m not very good,” Ricky said. “Certainly not as good as you.”

“Nobody’s as good as me,” Kit said.

And Ricky laughed. “I know! So you gotta teach me.”

Kit smiled at him and hoped that one day she might meet a girl like Ricky. Someone kind. Someone who didn’t have anything to prove. She had so much to prove. There wasn’t any room for anyone else to prove much.

“All right,” Kit said. “I’ll teach you.”

And then she leaned over, and she kissed Ricky on the cheekbone. It was the first time Kit had kissed someone with all of her heart.

---