Page 117 of Carrie Soto Is Back

“Oh,” he says. “Hello.”

I say, “I can’t sleep,” just as he says, “You should be sleeping.”

Bowe doesn’t say anything else for a moment, but the silence between us feels easy.

“Do you often find it hard to sleep before a big match?” Bowe asks.

“No,” I say. “Almost never.”

“Not even against Stepanova in ’83?”

“No, I slept like a baby that night. I’d worn my body down with so much training, I could barely stay awake.”

Bowe is quiet again. “So which self is keeping you awake?” he asks, finally.

It clicks right into place. “Okay,” I say. “I get it.”

“Let your thoughts go,” he says.

“All right, I’ll try.”

“What did Coach say?”

I laugh. “I didn’t call him.”

Bowe whistles like a cowboy. “Wow, you called me instead?”

“Yeah,” I say. “I think maybe I needed you to tell me that. I knew that you would.”

“Or,” he says, “and I’m just taking a stab here, maybe you also have a thing for me.”

“Would you cut it out?” I say.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” he says. “All right, go to bed. Glad I could help.”

“Thank you,” I say.

“Yeah, yeah.”

“No, Bowe, I’m serious. Thank you.”

“Sleep well, Carrie. You have this.”

When I get back in bed, I watch the moon as it hangs over the river. I stare at the gentle sway of the curtains. I do my best not to think about Cortez in Melbourne. Not to think of the moment I lost the match. The drop in my stomach. The sheer shame of it.

Instead, I close my eyes and think of the sound of a tennis ball. Thethunkof a good bounce. Thepopof a drive volley. Thetapof a drop shot. The honest-to-God exquisite soundtrack of a great rally.Pop, thunk, pop.

All I can do, I understand for one startlingly clear second, is play my grass game and be okay with the outcome.

Impossible.

Transcript

BBC Sports Radio London

SportsWorldwith Brian Cress

All eyes are watching as Carrie Soto and Ingrid Cortez go head-to-head in the championship final at Wimbledon today. Both players have shown incredible resolve here in London. Carrie Soto, thirty-seven, has shocked everyone by making it to the final. And Ingrid Cortez, at the age of eighteen, defeated powerhouse Nicki Chan in the semis this week in order to earn her spot up against the Battle Axe.

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