—
The next morning, Joan wasoutside Antonio’s door at seven forty-seven, despite knowing he usually didn’t get to the office until after eight.
She waited patiently by his door until she saw him coming down the hallway, holding a briefcase.
“Come on in,” he said, opening his office door.
He had a corner office in Building 1, the large windows giving him a view of the campus. And Joan saw a future, in a flash, of who she might be when she was no longer an astronaut. Might she be Antonio one day? She did not want to go back to academia. She wanted to be here at NASA for as long as they’d have her. But that would require her getting this part right first, the astronaut part.
She sat down as she waited for him to get settled.
Antonio put down his briefcase, hung his suit jacket over the back of his chair. When he sat, he situated the notebooks on his desk and then looked at her.
“Joan Goodwin, always a pleasure.”
“Thank you, sir.”
“Tell me, how would you feel about going up into space?”
“What?”
Antonio started smiling and leaned back. “How would you feel,” he said again, this time slowly, “about going up into space?”
“I would feel…great about that,” Joan said. “I would love that, sir.”
“I thought you might.”
He took a long pause, and Joan felt herself leaning forward. A smile spread across his face and crinkled his eyes.
“We are assigning you to STS-LR7. Your commander will be John Donahue, who I know you’ve spent some time with during training.”
“Yes, sir, he was one of the survival-training instructors.”
“This will be his second mission, so you’ll be in good hands. And your pilot will be Greg Menkin. The mission specialists will be you, Mark Simons, and Harrison Moreau. You’ll be flying onDiscovery,slated for launch November of ’84, which gives you more than a year to train.”
“I…I don’t know what to say.”
“Say that you accept.”
“I do, I absolutely do,” Joan said.
“Good. You’ll be assigned to Spacelab on the shuttle. You have become absolutely crucial to the inner workings of the pallet. We have a series of experiments that will be conducted by all of you, but we are planning on moving forward with the solar investigations, which we believe you are best suited to execute. But more than that, we feel you will be a great asset to the crew in terms of expertise and demeanor. We need a calm, steady hand on any crew, someone who understands that we all succeed or fail together. And we believe for STS-LR7, you are the best fit. That’s why we’ve selected you.”
“I am honored, truly.”
“The assignments on STS-LR7 will be announced shortly. As I know you are aware, the entire astronaut corps is eager to be assigned a mission. I ask that you keep your assignment between us and your crew until I have time to formally announce. And when it is announced, that you help me to keep morale high for those not assigned yet.”
“Of course, sir. I would consider that my highest priority until training.”
“I know, Goodwin. That contributed to my decision. You are exactly who NASA needs on the mission. And we are lucky to have you in our service.”
He stood up and put out his hand. Joan stood up and shook it. “Thank you, sir. I will make you proud.”
“Of that, I have no doubt.”
When Joan left his office, she had trouble composing her face.Finding it impossible to steady her hands, she walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind herself. She was overcome. And it came bursting out of her.
She sobbed.