Page 113 of Atmosphere

“I’d like to be assigned time in Mission Control,” Joan said, once she sat down.

Antonio appeared surprised.

“You’ve had someone on each crew do it for the past few missions,” Joan said. “And I see immense benefit in that. We all need toknow how best to communicate with Mission Control, and having at least one of us actually having worked the job is the best training. I think I should be that person.”

All of that was true.

The thing she didn’t tell Antonio was that lately, she ached to be in that seat.

As they had run their simulations the past few months, Joan found herself drawn to the lone voice on the other side of the speaker. It reminded her of being in college, listening to the teacher but also unable to resist imagining herself teaching one day. What would it be like to be that steady voice for someone?

“I will consider it,” Antonio said. “I’m not sure it is necessary for you, specifically.”

“Respectfully, sir,” Joan said, leaning forward, “I am exactly who you need.”

“And why is that?” Antonio asked. He seemed neither impressed nor doubtful.

Joan inhaled. She’d prepared all of her arguments in the shower that morning.

“Because out of everyone on the crew, I am the most unflappable. Look at my heart rate and blood pressure stats during our sims—you can even go back and look at my stats from the initial assessments four years ago. I am also the person on the crew with the most consistent relationships throughout the astronaut corps. I am friendly and on good terms with everyone. From pilots like Hank and Duke to mission specialists like Lydia. And I can think on my feet. You’ve seen it yourself in our simulations. You saw it yourself in our assessments when we applied. And I will do what needs to be done for the team. I follow orders. I have always displayed that here.

“In that CAPCOM chair, you need someone who is trusted, can remain calm, think quickly, and do what they are told. That’s me.”

—

“People think you’re so easygoing,”Vanessa said when Joan told her that Antonio had agreed. “But you’re surprisingly intense about things. Nobody sees you coming.”

“I don’t give up,” Joan said. “When I want something.”

Vanessa nodded. “Persistence. Highly underrated in women. Overrated in men, but underrated in women.”

Joan laughed.

—

One Friday afternoon, Joan pickedFrances up from camp and took her to the mall. They stopped at the food court and split an order of french fries.

Which was when Frances asked if she could spend the whole weekend at Joan’s place.

“The whole weekend?” Joan said.

Already the impossibilities of it were piling up. There was a barbecue at Antonio’s that she was expected at on Saturday night that kids weren’t invited to. She had told Harrison she’d get lunch with him on Sunday to discuss what was going wrong during the sims. Jack, the flight director she got along with best, had offered to have her in on Monday to observe. But the biggest issue was that there was no way to have Frances at her house and still be close with Vanessa. The two things were incompatible.

“We can make a plan for that in the future, but probably not this weekend. Aren’t you excited about your new room?”

Daniel had brought home paint chip samples from the hardware store, and Frances had chosen a lavender gray. Barbara had picked out a matching bedroom set from Macy’s. A full bed, a nice dresser. It was a beautiful room.

“Not really,” Frances said. “My bedroom is boring. I just read books alone in there. Mom and Daniel are never home, Joanie.”

“What?”

“They are never home. They go out to dinner every single night.Mom feeds me a grilled cheese and then tells me to get ready for bed and I do, and then they leave. I don’t see them again until the morning.”

“Oh,” Joan said. Frances was ten years old, having just finished the fifth grade. Joan tried to remember how old she’d been when her parents left her at home and in charge of Barbara. She had been older, certainly. But maybe it wasn’t the same.

After they finished eating, Joan took Frances to get a birthday present for her new friend, Rebecca.

After that, Joan was supposed to bring Frances home, but instead, she took Frances’s hand and said, “Should we see a movie while we are here?”

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