Page 48 of Atmosphere

Joan looked at her watch. “A little after five.”

“Blow off Griff and come get a beer with me.”

“Why won’t you just join us?”

“Because I just want to get a beer with you.”

Joan considered this. “I don’t know…”

“Doesn’t seem like that big a deal to me to just leave a note on his door saying you need a rain check,” Vanessa said.

Joan bit her lip, unsure. “Okay,” she said finally, with the spirited verve of someone agreeing to break the law.

Vanessa popped down off the counter and pulled Joan toward the door. “I’m driving.”

—

Vanessa took Joan to adive bar outside the city with a dirt parking lot, sticky tables, and dollar bills pinned to the ceiling. Someone was feeding coins to the jukebox to keep it playing Willie Nelson.

They’d been there a couple of hours and had had a few beers. Which was why Joan was tipsy enough to tell Vanessa about Adam Hawkins, the neighborhood boy who wanted to marry her.

“He was good-looking?” Vanessa asked.

“Yeah.” Joan shrugged. “I guess. I don’t know. Barbara always thought he was cute. We went out on dates here and there, to the movies and some parties together. He was fine.”

“Did you like him?”

“I don’t know. I couldn’t tell. Which I think means no.”

“Did you sleep with him?”

“Oh, my gosh, no.”

“But the two of you kissed?”

“Sometimes, sure.”

“So he was your boyfriend.”

“I don’t know about that. He was a boy I dated, and it was clear our parents wanted us to get married. And he did, too.”

“How is that not a boyfriend?”

“I think of a boyfriend as someone you love. I never loved him. I would know if I’d fallen in love.”

“Have you ever?”

“What?”

“Have you ever fallen in love?”

Joan glanced down at her fingernails. “No,” she said, looking backup.

Vanessa nodded, absorbing it all. “Because you haven’t met the right person?”

“I don’t know. Or…maybe it’s just not my thing.”

“What’s not your thing?”

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