Page 91 of Serenity Harbor

Bile rose up, burning her stomach, her throat. She couldn’t seem to suck in a deep breath, and it was taking all of her strength not to curl up on the chaise lounge and sob.

How was it possible to be numb, ice-cold and broiling hot, all at the same time? Somehow she managed it.

She couldn’t give in. Not yet. She had to survive the next few moments while she said her final goodbyes. Somehow she had to find the strength to go back inside Bowie’s house and pretend everything was fine, that her world hadn’t suddenly been devastated.

After that, she could climb into her car and completely fall apart.

She forced herself to breathe, deep and slow, for ten full counts. Though the nausea remained, the breathing helped push the worst of the turmoil back—enough that she felt strong enough to walk inside the house.

When she rejoined Bowie, Debra and Milo in the kitchen, Bowie’s posture instantly went tense, and he aimed a swift look of concern in her direction. She had to ignore it. Not now. One word of compassion or solace and she would completely lose it.

“I’m sorry for the distraction,” she said. She almost choked on the last word, which seemed wholly inadequate to describe what had just happened. “Is there anything else you need to know about Milo?”

The other woman shook her head. “I’ve been reading through your notes, and they’re wonderful, filled with details and specific examples. I can’t tell you how enormously helpful that will be. If I have questions that aren’t covered, I’ll reach out to you. You’ll be available after you leave, won’t you?”

Not easily. “Email will be the best way to reach me for now,” she said.

“I saw your email address on the paperwork, so that will be great to have. Don’t worry about a thing. We’ll have so much fun together. Everything here will be fine after you go.”

She could hang on to that, at least. “Good to hear. I guess this is it, then.”

She might have thought her heart had been totally shattered by now, but she still managed to feel a few new cracks as she forced herself to smile at Milo.

It was too much. The human heart wasn’t designed to endure this kind of damage. A few more deep breaths gave her enough strength to walk over to where Milo played, to sit beside him on the floor.

He didn’t lift his head for a long moment, until she was forced to plead. “Milo, buddy, can you look at me?”

He seemed reluctant to leave his cars but finally picked up his favorite purple sports car and turned to face her, though his gaze connected somewhere to the left of her.

That was the best she was going to get today, she decided.

“Thank you for letting me hang out with you these last few weeks. I’ve had so much fun. I wish I could stay longer, but...I have to go.”

“Go?”

That word seemed to finally register, after all these days she had tried to tell him she would be leaving soon. His eyebrows lowered to a point above his nose, and his color rose. She really hoped he wasn’t on the brink of a meltdown. That would make this difficult task so much worse.

“That’s right. G-go.” Her voice broke a little on the word, but she drew another deep breath. She felt Bowie approach them and couldn’t let herself look at him. She would completely lose it if she did.

“You’re going to have so much fun with Debra. She knows just how to take care of you and do everything she can to help you get ready to go to a special class at school in the fall.”

“School.”

“That’s right. School. Just like Ty and Will Montgomery and all the other children. Won’t that be great?”

“Kat. School.”

She had a fierce wish that she was returning to her beautiful classroom with the windows that overlooked the mountains, to the bulletin board she had prepared so carefully and the neat cubbies and the smell of chalk and erasers.

She had loved being a teacher but had walked away for the most ridiculous of reasons. Now she didn’t know if she would ever be able to return.

“That’s right. You’ll go to Haven Point Elementary School. That’s where I was a teacher. You will love it. I promise. You’ll have special teachers there who can help you learn and grow. You can even learn to read all the stories you love.”

He looked back down at the car in his hand, and she could tell she was losing hold of his interest. “I have to go now, Milo. You be good for your brother and for Mrs. Peters, okay?”

She didn’t know how much he understood, but he didn’t protest when she hugged him for only an instant and kissed the top of his head. “Bye, bud.”

He looked up, and this time she was almost sure he looked straight into her eyes. “Kat. Bye.”

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