Page 114 of 15 Summers Later

She didn’t know what to think, what to feel.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I made an anonymous donation because I wanted to stay anonymous. I didn’t want you to know. If Grandma hadn’t insisted that keeping it secret was a mistake, I’m not sure I would have told you at all. I am telling you only because I am afraid that if you find out on your own at some future point, it might damage our relationship more.”

Madi wasn’t sure it was possible for their relationship to feel any more fractured.

Emotions seemed to wash over her in waves. She thought of her bitter anger toward her sister since the book came out, the harsh words she had thrown at Ava about being greedy and self-serving. How was she supposed to respond now, knowing that Ava had ultimately agreed to publish the book so that Madi could start the animal rescue?

She had acted like a petulant brat when she should have been grateful at the enormity of the gift from her sister.

“You should have talked to me first,” she muttered, not knowing what else to say.

“Would you have taken the money from me if you had known where it came from?”

She didn’t have a clear answer to that. Madi wanted to think she could stand on her own and eventually fund the rescue through grants and fundraising. But she couldn’t deny that Ava’s generosity had pushed up their timeline to open by at least a year.

They were helping animals in need, something they wouldn’t have been able to do without Ava. That day alone they had found new homes for more than a dozen animals. They had provided a home to others, like Barnabas and Sabra, who likely would have been put down otherwise.

Because of the donation, she had been able to build the barn, to hire her full-time assistant to handle the office work and even give herself enough of a salary to enable her to leave the vet clinic.

None of that would have been possible without Ava’s gift.

She was deeply grateful. Of course she was grateful. So why did some part of her still simmer with indignation?

“We can’t know whether or not I would have taken the money from you, can we? You didn’t give me a choice.”

“I’m sorry you see it that way,” Ava said, her tone stiff. “I thought it would be easier this way, if I simply donated anonymously. No strings attached.”

“Nothing comes without strings.”

Because she now knew the truth, she felt suffocated by obligatory gratitude. It would take time for her to figure out how to process the enormity of her sister’s gift.

“Why did you do this?”

“I knew how important the creation of an animal sanctuary is to you. You’ve talked about it for years. You used to talk about it even when we were girls. Do you remember?”

Yes. She remembered. Through all those dark days at the camp, they would talk about their hopes and their dreams. Those dreams had sustained them. She had wanted to be a veterinarian who rescued animals.

Ava, bookish and quiet, had wanted to be a writer. She dreamed of using her words to change the world somehow.

“I wish you had told me.”

“I’m telling you now. You can be angry with me, resentful, whatever you want, but it’s done. I can’t take it back and I wouldn’t if I could. I love seeing what you’re doing with the animal rescue. You’re making a difference to these animals. Mom would have been so proud of you.”

She paused and rose, her features pale and her hands trembling slightly. “I’mproud of you. I love you, Madi. Whatever you think about what I’ve done, please don’t ever doubt that. I love you and I’m proud to be your sister.”

Madi struggled for a response but the words didn’t come. She only felt hollow, carved out by shock and shame at how she had treated her sister when Ava didn’t deserve it.

“Good night,” Ava said. She made it as far as the door when she suddenly cried out, clutching at her abdomen, then collapsed to the floor.

31

In this moment, survival becomes our singular focus, a primal instinct that drives us to endure against the odds.

—Ghost Lakeby Ava Howell Brooks

Ava

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