Page 72 of 15 Summers Later

For one instant, wild joy leaped in his gaze, so raw and real that she wondered if everything would be okay between them after all, if he would sweep her into his arms, kiss her and all the pain would disappear. As quickly as it appeared, it was gone again.

“Are you sure?”

“I haven’t been to a doctor yet. But yes. Pretty sure. Again, eight pregnancy tests. I think it’s unlikely that all eight of them would give false positives.”

Now he looked flummoxed, as if she had shoved the camp chair out from under him.

“How did this...? We weren’t planning on a baby right now. I thought we...youwere taking precautions.”

Guilt twisted through her. “The past few months have been so...intense that I haven’t been as careful to take the pill every day as I should have been. That’s the only explanation I can come up with. I’m sorry.”

The last two words slithered out, hovering between them like something ugly and alive.

“Are you apologizing for my sake or for your own?” He looked down at her with burning intensity. “Do you...not want this baby?”

So very much. But not when you are so angry with me that you can’t even hug me when I need it desperately.

She couldn’t lie to him. “Yes, more than anything. I know the timing is poor but...I don’t care. I already love her. Or him. It doesn’t matter which. This baby is ours.”

He let out a breath and she could see myriad emotions playing out on his features. Shock and joy and anxiety and perhaps even a touch of despair.

“So what happens now?”

We kiss and make up and go back to the blissful future we were planning before I screwed everything up?

“I don’t know,” she said honestly. “What do you want to see happen?”

“I’ve hardly had three minutes to process that our lives are about to change forever. I’m still struggling to wrap my head around it.”

“I know. I’ve been the same way. I suspected last night but... I took the tests this morning. I came as soon as I could arrange a ride up with Madi. I wanted you to know right away. I don’t want any more secrets between us.”

His mouth tightened into a line and he looked haunted again. He said nothing so she continued, “We don’t have to make any decisions right now. I am probably only about five or six weeks along. I’ve only missed one period.”

“Are you feeling okay?”

She almost thought she saw his hand lift, as if he wanted to stroke it down her cheek. She ached for the comforting reassurance of his touch with a ferocity that seemed to throb like her heartbeat.

“Not really,” she answered. “I’ve been pretty nauseous. And I’ve been napping so much, Grandma must think I have some kind of sleep disorder.”

His mouth twitched slightly, as if he wanted to smile, but he remained stiff and silent, his emotion-filled eyes the only outward sign that her news had impacted him in the slightest.

She shrugged. “All that will only last another few months, then I’ll be fine.”

“That’s good. Do you...need anything?”

You. Only you.

She shook her head. “No. You should know I plan to keep the baby. If you...if you decide you can’t forgive me for keeping secrets and want to make this separation more permanent, I can raise the baby by myself. Please don’t worry about that. I’ll make things work somehow.”

The very real possibility she might end up a single mother madeherwant to curl up in the fetal position like their child growing inside her, especially when she knew what a wonderful father Cullen would be. But it wouldn’t be fair to force parenthood on him when he wasn’t even certain their marriage could survive.

He glared at her, suddenly, anger sparking to life in his eyes. “Ava. Do you honestly think I would abandon my responsibilities to you or...to our child?”

He stumbled over the word, as if it still didn’t seem quite real to him.

“I know you didn’t ask for this, that a baby wasn’t something you wanted right now.Especiallyright now. I completely understand. I was the one who messed up and didn’t consistently take my birth control. I can’t expect you to pay for my mistake.”

“If I really hadn’t wanted a child, I could have chosen my own ways to prevent conception,” he pointed out. “The responsibility was not yours alone.”

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