Page 109 of The Lost Book of First Loves

“Yes. I absolutely do. That’s a little different to my mind. I didn’t print them out and put them in an album.”

“I’m a photographer. Maybe I just liked the way the photos turned out.”

A memory she had somehow buried suddenly resurfaced. Good Lord. How had she completely forgotten that part of the story?

“When I asked Austin why you two fought, he said you had a thing for me and everybody at school knew.”

Their gazes met and tension stretched between them, shimmery and taut.

“Did you?” she whispered, when he said nothing.

“Would it matter?”

“Yes. To me.”

He sighed and looked away. “Yeah. I had a thing for you. And everybody probablydidknow.”

Her stomach suddenly hurt and she desperately wished she hadn’t started this by asking about his fight.

“Ididn’t know.”

“Then you were the only one. I was in love with you all through junior high and high school. You want to know why I really fought Austin? Because he had put his tongue in your mouth and tried to feel you up and I hated him for it.”

She stared at him, her thoughts scrambling. How was she supposed to respond to that?

Before she could figure it out, he stood.

“Rain’s stopped. I’d better take the horses down for some water.”

He rose, unzipped the tent and headed outside. Ali sat frozen for a long second before she flopped back onto his sleeping bag.

In love with her.

Impossible. Wouldn’t she haveknown? He had never given any kind of indication that he felt anything but friendship for her, in all their years of hanging out together. No longing glances, no trying to sneak a kiss. Nothing.

And he had dated plenty of other girls, especially after he left for college in Boulder. She had gone to visit him once when they were both undergrads and had been shocked at how many girls seemed to flirt with him everywhere they went in town.

She lay on his sleeping bag for a long moment, staring blankly at the walls, trying to wrap her head around his shocking disclosure.

What was she supposed to do about it? Pretend he hadn’t said anything? Apologize that she hadn’t known?

She felt as if the entire world had tilted, everything she thought she knew about their friendship and their long history together shaken to the core.

Was this how June felt when Ali had told her about Carson?

She pressed a hand to her stomach again, fighting the sudden fear that everything between them would change forever now.

When she left the tent, zipping it behind her carefully to keep out any bugs, she found Xander walking all three horses down to the water’s edge to drink.

She sat on one of the camp chairs they had packed, going through her dad’s tackle box and trying to process what had just happened.

After he finished watering the horses and led them back up the hill toward their highline ropes, Xander returned to their camp and took the other camp chair.

“I shouldn’t have said anything,” he said. “Now things are going to be awkward between us.”

He looked out at the lake, avoiding her gaze, and her stomach seemed to twist again with nerves.

“Why tell me now? Why didn’t you say something back when we were kids?”

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