Page 116 of The Lost Book of First Loves

“Have you ever wanted any kids of your own?”

For a brief instant, a wistful expression softened her mouth before she seemed to brusquely push it away. “Not seriously, no. I suppose I always thought the pressures and responsibilities of my job made it unlikely I could find room in my life for children. Now it’s probably even more unlikely because of this stupid heart condition.”

She tried to sound casual and unaffected, but he didn’t miss the shadow of sorrow in her gaze, as if something had been taken away that she had never realized she wanted.

Chapter 38

Juniper

Had she really said that out loud?

“I’m sorry,” she said ruefully. “Why is it that every time I decide to throw a pity party for myself, you happen to be on the receiving end?”

“You don’t have to apologize to me,” he said. “During the hardest time of my life, I had Carson to help me through. It seems only right that I can try to be here for you now. I am glad you trust me enough to tell me some of your struggles.”

Oh, how on earth was she supposed to protect her heart from a man like him?

He was thoughtful, he was compassionate, he was endlessly patient with her as she struggled with all the life changes that had hit her hard in quick succession.

What would she have done without him since she had come to Wyoming?

She gazed at him, fighting hard to keep from leaning across the picnic table and kissing the man, right there in front of all the other tourists enjoying the spectacular views of steep mountains on the other side of the lake with them.

“Stop being so kind to me. You make it really hard to resist you.”

“Are you trying to resist me?” He looked intrigued.

She huffed out a breath. “Yes. Not very successfully, if you must know.”

If anything, he looked even more intrigued.

“Beck, we both know this can’t go anywhere. Your life is here. Mine isn’t. And I really don’t need a metaphorical broken heart to go with myactualbroken heart.”

He nodded slowly. “Got it.”

After lunch, he took her to two other magnificent viewpoints, maintaining an easy, if distant, friendliness as he indicated points of interest.

She stayed awake for the drive back to the ranch, enjoying the scenery as well as their wide-ranging conversation.

She was more comfortable with Beck than any man she could remember in a long time, except for Adam and Rudy, who were more like brothers.

He was smart, clever and seemed genuinely interested in everything she said.

Not to mention sexy as hell, with the shadow of afternoon stubble and his hair tumbling over his forehead.

“Thank you for going along with me,” Beck said when they reached the cabin and he had walked onto the porch with her. “I had a great day.”

She unlocked the front door of her temporary home. “Thank you for inviting me along. You were right. I needed the distraction.”

“I’m afraid we didn’t make any progress on your search for a missing manuscript, though. What about tomorrow? I’ll be working on the coffee table again in the morning, but should have some free time in the afternoon to sort through more of the boxes.”

As long as they had a shared purpose and she wasn’t simply sitting and watching him work, she ought to be able to keep control of herself around him.

“Tomorrow afternoon would be great. Thank you. And thank you again for today.”

“My pleasure,” he said. He leaned in and kissed her cheek. A shiver slid down her spine at the brush of his lips against her skin and it was all she could do not to lean into him, grab his face between her hands and kiss him again.

Chapter 39

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