Page 126 of The Lost Book of First Loves

“In the bottom drawer of his bedside table.”

“He kept it close. Keptherclose.”

Her eyes burned with emotion and she had to swallow down the lump in her throat. Her emotions were a tangled mess of gratitude, sadness, anticipation and apprehension. She wanted immediately to start reading at the same time she feared what she would find.

Carson Wells was her father. She could no longer deny that. If she had any lingering doubt, this tucked-away manuscript confirmed it. Carson had known and loved her mother.

“We need to tell Alison and Loretta,” she said.

“I can call them in.”

She shook her head. “Not here. Ali doesn’t like this room.”

“Right.”

She rose and picked up the box, closing the lid. She was deeply grateful for Beck’s strength and support as they walked out of the bedroom in search of the others.

They found them in the sitting room off the kitchen. Loretta had her feet up on a leather ottoman and was scrolling with the remote through menus on the TV while Ali swiped at her phone.

When she and Beck walked in, they both looked up. Something in their demeanor must have alerted Alison. She immediately set down her phone and stood up.

“You found it.”

“We did.” She gave a shaky smile, still fighting that lump in her throat. “You were right. He knew my mother. The book is dedicated to her.”

She held it out. Ali took it with a wariness June completely understood. She opened it to the same page and read the dedication written there. When she looked up, her eyes were wet.

“He loved her,” she said, handing the book next to her grandmother to read.

“Oh, my boy,” Loretta murmured. “No wonder he spent that time wandering, trying to mend his broken heart.”

If there was one thing June had learned since her cardiac arrest, it was that broken hearts didn’t mend. A person simply had to learn how to accept the scars.

They must have had an affair and it must have left him shattered. June didn’t know the circumstances, but she could only guess it had something to do with the fact that Elizabeth had been married and wouldn’t leave her husband.

It shifted her entire perspective about her mother, though she couldn’t help thinking her mother must have loved Carson, as well. She remembered the almost reverent way Elizabeth would read his books and how she had always kept her signed copy ofPurgatory Riverclose to her bedside.

Her mother had been married to another man, though, even if she and Jimmy had married in a rush, before his deployment.

Elizabeth had prized loyalty and honor above all things. She must have deeply regretted her lapse of judgment in falling in love with Carson and betraying her marriage vows. Perhaps she had never told Carson about June as penance for what she had done.

“So what now?” Ali asked.

“We read it,” Loretta said as if that was the only possible course of action.

“You should read it first,” June said, holding out the box.

Alison shook her head. “You should read it first. This was written before I was born. By the dedication, I would guess it was written either for or about Dad’s relationship with your mom. It’s only right that you read it first.”

June didn’t feel right about that, but she also didn’t want to argue with her sister. Good Lord. She had a sister!

She almost suggested they read it together, but something held her back. She yearned to immerse herself in the words and wasn’t sure she could do that while reading it along with someone else.

“I can’t believe my son wrote another manuscript that he never published,” Loretta said, still looking at the box and the notebooks with amazement. “I wonder if it was simply too close to his heart for him to share with the world.”

“Possibly,” Beck said. “Or maybe he didn’t feel right about releasing it without Elizabeth’s knowledge and consent because the things he wrote about were between them.”

“That’s what he writes there,” Ali said. “This story belongs to us alone. I almost feel weird about reading it now.”

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