Page 134 of The Lost Book of First Loves

She ordered the pizza on her way into town—his favorite, veggie with extra mushrooms—and stopped at the pizzeria to pick it up. She felt overdressed to be picking up a pizza and Xander’s favorite beer. She had dressed for what she thought would be dinner in a nice restaurant with Clint, wearing one of the dresses she had bought for her short-lived internship, and hadn’t bothered to change into something more casual before she left the ranch.

Too bad. She didn’t care. He could take her as she was.

Or not.

She pulled up in front of his great-aunt’s house, heart pounding as she grabbed the pizza and six-pack and headed for the door.

She had no idea what she would do next, beyond sharing pizza with him. Maybe she could persuade him to take a drive or something so she could talk to him without Sylvia as an audience.

But when he answered the door, he immediately let her know his great-aunt wasn’t home.

“Helen and Bob Turner took her to bingo tonight.”

“I didn’t realize there was bingo tonight. Let’s go,” she said, trying for a joke to hide the sudden nerves building in her. “We could eat our pizza on the way.”

He studied her closely, and she regretted that he knew her so well and could always tell when she was hiding something.

“What’s going on, Al? You had a date with Clint tonight. Did he stand you up? Is that why you’re here?”

She set down the pizza box on the coffee table, though she was tempted to tell him they should eat while it was hot.

“I thought we were heading to a nice restaurant, but he wanted to go back to his place and grill steaks together.”

His jaw clenched. “No doubt grilling wasn’t his only plan for the evening.”

“Probably not. Which is why I told him no.”

“You didn’t want to grill steaks?”

She shook her head. “Or do anything else. Not with him.”

He looked at her, and the moment seemed to stretch out between them, vibrating with tension and energy.

“With someone else?”

She couldn’t meet his gaze as a hundred different emotions chased through her. She felt as if she were on the edge of something terrifying and wonderful at the same time, yet she was so afraid to take a step into the dark unknown.

If she didn’t, though, she might never know the beauty and joy waiting for her on the other side.

“Yes,” she whispered, fiercely grateful that his great-aunt wasn’t there. “If you want the truth, I told Clint I had recently discovered I had... feelings for someone else.”

She did meet his gaze now and she saw something leap there, something bright and vivid that made her toes tingle and her knees feel weak.

“Anyone I know?” he asked, his voice raspy.

Suddenly, she was no longer afraid. How could she be, when this was Xander, her dearest friend, and he was looking at her with that fiery expression in his eyes?

She nodded. “Yeah. You know him quite well, actually.”

“Do I?”

With a soft smile, she reached for his hand. “I told you I’ve watched all the content on your channel. What I didn’t tell you was how much I disliked all the beautiful women who traveled with you.”

His mouth pursed. “I’ve told you that Giselle is the only woman I was actually in a relationship with.”

“I didn’t know that at the time. I hated all of those women, especially Giselle. Do you want to know something funny? I had no idea why I disliked them until this summer.”

“Why?”

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