Page 137 of The Lost Book of First Loves

“Distance is not the only reason this can’t work. You know it’s not.”

She pressed her lips together and for the first time, he noticed they were trembling.

“Why?”

She pressed a hand hard over her heart, her features suddenly as angry as his. “Because of this. Because I have a tiny device keeping me alive. At any second, I could go into cardiac arrest and have to be shocked back to life.”

“So what?”

“You don’t want to have to deal with that uncertainty.”

“I’m a grown man, June. I’m really good at making my own decisions about what I do or do not want to deal with.”

Her lips pressed together again and this time they weren’t trembling. Her expression was resolute.

“And I’m a grown woman who has made the decision for myself that I don’t want a relationship with you. Is that clear enough?”

He was so damn tired. He wanted to fight for her, but he couldn’t seem to find any of the right words. They were all slippery as trout in the morning sun.

How could he argue with her, anyway? She had obviously thought this through and had made up her mind.

The hell of it was he loved her more than ever in that moment.

“Yes. Crystal clear,” he said gruffly, feeling as if he had almost held something rare and precious in his hands yet had somehow watched it slip through his fingers.

She had feelings for him. He knew she did. He could see it in her eyes. But she wouldn’t even give them a chance.

“There’s Ali,” she said, shading her eyes with her hand to look down the driveway.

Emotions roiling, he watched the big black ranch SUV pull up. When Ali hopped out of the driver’s side, she looked pleased to see him.

“I didn’t think you were coming home until this evening.”

He should have waited and avoided this whole messy, painful scene.

When he didn’t answer, she looked between the two of them.

“I’m interrupting something. Want me to come back?”

Please, he started to say, but June spoke first before he could get the word out.

“No. I’m ready to go.”

She disappeared back into the cabin and shortly emerged with the two suitcases she had when he picked her up at the airport that first day.

He took them from her—what the hell else could he do?—and loaded them into the back of the SUV.

“Goodbye, Beck,” she said after he closed the door. “Thanks again for your kindness.”

She actually had the gall then to hold out her hand as if he would shake it.

Screw that.

He grabbed her and kissed her hard, with all the emotion raging through his heart.

After a long, breathless moment, she pushed him away.

“I’m ready,” she said to Ali and rushed to climb into the passenger seat, closing the door tightly behind her.

---