Page 33 of The Lost Book of First Loves

“By blood only. You didn’t even know she existed a few months ago.”

“I’m trying to build a relationship with her. I don’t want to suddenly blurt it all out and ruin everything.”

He shook his head. “I hope you know what you’re doing. In my experience, secrets have a way of eating you up from the inside.”

“That sounds ominous,” she teased. “What kind of deep, dark secrets do you have lurking in your psyche?”

“You have no idea.”

He said the words so solemnly, she almost did a double take. But she knew Xander almost as well as she knew herself. He was a good guy who tried to travel responsibly and sustainably and to leave the world around him better than it was before.

Again, the conversation felt stilted and unusually awkward.

“What are your plans while you’re home?” she asked.

“I have enough work to keep me busy, editing videos I’ve already shot and making travel plans for the next year. It will be nice to stay in one place for a while and catch my breath. Plus, I promised Sylvia I would clear out all my old stuff in my room so she can use it for another guest room for her growing crowd of great-grandchildren and great-great-nieces and nephews.”

Sylvia and her husband had raised two children of their own, whose children were now having babies. And Xander’s sister would soon have three of her own.

“Sounds like a fun job. Do you need help?”

“Maybe. But I know you don’t have any spare time. Won’t you be busy preparing for your big test?”

“That’s the plan.” She had missed the most recent two meetings of her online study group that had been gathering ina virtual chat room a few days a week since they all graduated from law school in the spring.

“I’m hoping Grandma also will let me return to work at the bookstore.”

“You can never stay away from a bookstore, can you?”

“Not that one, anyway.”

“I wish you could have seen this really cool café I found in Estonia where the walls are filled with shelves of books, like a lending library. Patrons are welcome to grab one and take it home and then bring it back next time they come to the café.”

“Oh, I would love that!”

“I thought of you when I was there.”

Did he think of her often when he traveled? The question left a funny knot in her stomach, for some strange reason.

“I also would like to do some horseback riding while I’m home. You and I have been talking for years about heading up through Outlaw Canyon to Hidden Lake.”

“We have. I’d forgotten about that.”

The canyon was deep in the Wind River mountain range, at least a four-hour horseback ride in and back out.

“We should do it this summer, while we have the chance,” she said impulsively. “When are we both going to find ourselves in Bridger Peak at the same time? Oh, but I guess you probably can’t leave Sylvia overnight.”

“Right. She is the reason I’m home. But a trip to Outlaw Canyon could be fun. I could do a mini-break episode for the channel.”

“Or we could simply go and enjoy it.”

He laughed. “True enough.”

Had he lost any of his joy of traveling because he now explored with the purpose of documenting where he went? Somehow, she doubted it.

“Maybe I can figure out a way to make it work. Maybe Lindsey could stay with her overnight or one of my cousins. I can check with her about specific dates to see if we can findsomething that works with your schedule at the bookstore and your study plans. Oh, and I’ll have to borrow a horse.”

“We have several at the ranch who could use some exercise. My dad’s horse Comet misses him.”

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