Page 5 of The Lost Book of First Loves

“I... stopped breathing?”

Alison nodded. “You didn’t have a pulse and your heart wasn’t beating so I started CPR while Jason called 911.”

“That’s... impossible. No way.”

She worked out every day. She had been a high school track star and had run at the collegiate level. Her entire life was devoted to fitness. For heaven’s sake, she was an executive vice president and head of marketing for Move Inc, which made the hottest fitness devices on the market.

“Impossible,” she said again. Alison didn’t appear to be joking, though.

“They’re running tests to figure out what happened and are hoping to have some answers tomorrow. Meanwhile, you’re in the cardiac intensive care unit. They are taking good care of you here.”

Nothing made sense. Why was Alison here? And why was she lying to June about whyshewas here?

She had a flash of memory of walking into her mother’s hospital room, seeing her bandaged and pale as death, eyes lifeless, with tubes attached everywhere.

She remembered her bewildered and frightened fifteen-year-old self sobbing as she said goodbye while a social worker from child protective services waited to take her to the next phase of her life.

Panic flared, harsh and noxious. “I can’t be here.” She started clutching at her leads and moved to get up.

“Hey. Don’t do that. It’s okay. You’re okay.”

Alison stepped closer to the bed and rested a hand on her arm. A nurse in blue scrubs also hurried in and adjusted some settings on the machines.

“You can’t do that. If you’re going to be agitated, we will have to ask your guest to leave,” she said, her voice stern, before she walked away to the patient in the next bay over.

“Why are you here?” June asked, forcing herself to breathe through the ache in her chest.

“They needed someone to sign forms and give them information about you. We—Jason, Margaret and I—didn’t know who else to contact. We couldn’t find Mr. Martinez so we called Mr. Greene and he asked one of us to handle it. He’s got meetings in the morning but plans to fly home immediately afterward so he should be here tomorrow evening or the day after.”

Adam Greene and Rudy Martinez had been her dearest friends for years. Together, they had started Move Inc when they were all in college and had built it from the ground up. Rudy was gay with a long-term partner. She and Adam had tried to date once but quickly realized they were much better as friends than as lovers.

After more than fifteen years as friends, she saw Adam too clearly. He could be selfish and single-minded, with little patience for the weakness of others. No doubt he had a list of her own faults that probably stretched much longer than his.

Still, they were the closest thing she had to family. She needed one of them here right now, not tomorrow when it was more convenient.

“Do you have family in the area I could reach out to?” Alison asked, as if reading her thoughts. “I asked around the office and neither Jason nor Margaret knew whether there was someone else we should be contacting.”

Despite the busy hospital and the activity she could see through the glass windows, she suddenly felt very alone.

What was new about that? She had been alone for years.

“No. I don’t have any family in the area and I don’t need you to call anyone.” She curled and uncurled her fingers against the sheet. “This is all so stupid. I don’t need to be here. I’m perfectly fine.”

Again, she lifted her fingers as if to reach for the leads attached to her chest, but Alison placed a restraining hand on her arm. “I know you’re upset. I’m sorry. This has no doubt been a shock. I mean, it’s not every day a person dies and is brought back to life.”

If she had died, who would have grieved her death?

Adam and Rudy and his partner would. Her other friends, some of her coworkers. But that was about it.

The nurse bustled in again, this time holding a syringe.

“I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to introduce myself earlier. We had a bit of an emergency next door. Hi, Juniper. My name is Katherine and I’ll be your nurse tonight. How are you feeling?”

Like she had been hit by a truck and then thrown over the side of a cliff.

“June. My name is June. I shouldn’t be here. This is a mistake.”

“I imagine all of this has been very upsetting. But you’ve got the finest cardiac team anywhere taking care of you and they will get you sorted.”

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