Page 9 of The Lost Book of First Loves

He looked at something on a laptop. “Have you had any dizzy episodes or possibly even fainted momentarily?”

She frowned, thinking back. “Dizzy spells. Yes. More over the past year, I suppose. That’s one of the reasons I went for a full workup with my primary care doctor. My blood pressure was quite low so my doctor suggested that might be responsible. At the time, I was also under a great deal of stress at work and traveling quite a bit.”

That particular state of affairs wasn’t anything new. She had been working hard for years while she, Adam and Rudy worked to build the company.

“Your case is an interesting one. I’ve been going over your file and the test results we’ve done so far. I’d like to run a few more tests today while you’re here in the hospital. Our initial test results suggest you might have a condition called Catecholaminergic Polymorphic Ventricular Tachycardia.”

“What is that?”

“It’s a big, scary name, I know. You can call it CPVT. Again, we won’t know for sure until we do some further tests.”

How could this be possible? Maintaining healthy habits was an important part of her life.

“Is it... fatal?”

“In certain cases, it can be, especially when it goes undiagnosed into adulthood. Your case might have been if circumstances had been different. But it can also be very well controlled through the use of an implanted device that helps regulate the electric pulses of your heart.”

“A pacemaker? You’re talking about a pacemaker?”

“This would be what we call an ICD. An implantable cardioverter-defibrillator that senses an irregular heartbeat and can administer a tiny shock to your heart to get it back on track. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. We still have some tests to run today and will hopefully have a better plan at that point.”

“This can’t be happening.”

“If we determine such a device is indicated in your particular case, you can, of course, choose to decline the surgery. I would highly recommend against that. It would place you at serious risk of another cardiac event, especially now that you’ve had a serious event and your heart has sustained damage.”

Heart damage. She couldn’t wrap her head around it. She suddenly yearned for Adam or Rudy or one of her other close friends. How was it possible that the only person here was an intern she barely knew? An intern she had been in the process of letting go, she suddenly remembered.

“We don’t have to make any decisions yet. Let’s cross that bridge when we come to it. For now, I would like to run these additional tests to see if there might be something else we’re missing, if that’s all right with you.”

“Do I really have a choice?”

His eyes were kind even as his expression was firm. “You always have a choice. But again, we won’t have a clear picture of what’s going on with your heart without these tests.”

Right. She was always telling her team that information was power.

“It’s important to remember that you are an extraordinarily fortunate young woman. You’re here, you are alive, youhave the chance to resume a normal life, for all intents and purposes.”

That was easy for him to say. He wasn’t the one in a hospital bed, hooked up to machines and IV lines and having to confront the harsh reality of her own mortality.

He did a quick exam, listening closely to her heart and her lungs, then two other younger medical professionals, whose name tags also included the descriptors Resident and Medical Student, followed his lead and listened, as well.

After they left, June fought the ridiculous burn of tears. She had almost forgotten her erstwhile intern was still there until the woman spoke from her chair in the corner.

“Ms. Connelly, is there someone else you would like me to call for you?”

She blinked rapidly. “No. I’m fine. You don’t have to stay, either. While I appreciate everything you’ve done, you’re under no obligation to camp out here with me.”

“Does it bother you to have me here? I can go, if that is your preference. But I would like to stay, if you don’t mind.”

She didn’t quite know how to answer. It was more than a little mortifying to find out that despite everything she had achieved, all her vaunted independence and how far she had come, she still felt like a small, frightened child here in a hospital bed, surrounded by machines and strangers.

“Surely, you have something better to do.”

Alison raised an eyebrow. “Like what? I don’t have an internship. You let me go, remember?”

The casual way she said it made June wince a little. “I wondered ifyouremembered.”

To her surprise, the other woman smiled. “I can’t say I wasn’t expecting it. You should have done it a week ago. I’m grateful for the second and third chances you gave me.”

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