Page 68 of The Obsession

I blinked away my tears and took a deep breath. No time to mourn the loss of what little innocence I had left.

Breathing hard, I stepped away from the river and gathered the broken pieces of the USB drive. I picked up my bag from the ground then made my way back toward campus. I stripped off my jacket as I walked, stuffed it into a plastic bag I had prepared, and put the bundle into my bag. The last thing I needed was to be seen by other students walking around in wet clothes the night Logan drowned. I put on a clean sweater without breaking stride.

The sadness caught me unaware, punching me in the gut hard enough to take my breath away. That same strange, calm rage had taken over me. The exact one that had pushed me into kicking out the car jack. I’d gone to that same place, where time stopped and I could practically see the air molecules around me freezing and all that existed in the world were me and my prey. I’d struck again, and this time it was even worse, because this time, it wasn’t just a matter of a brash kick. I’d grabbed Logan and held him down while he drowned under my hands.

I could no longer stop the tears. By some stroke of luck, very few people were about, and none close enough to notice me crying. I pulled my hood down over as much of my face as I could as tears burned down my cheeks. Oh my god, I killed him.

I hadn’t planned on killing him. Truly, I hadn’t.

The thought of killing another human being made every fiber in my being recoil. My plan had been to frame Logan as Draycott’s drug kingpin. It would be so easy to do. Even Mendez thought Logan had something to do with the drug business. But then he’d attacked me, and I couldn’t not react. It was self-defense.

Except it wasn’t. Not really. I could’ve let him go once he fell into the river. I could’ve just turned and run away. But no, I wanted to do it. The chance for freedom practically fell into my lap. Yeah. This was fate. This was meant to be. He deserved to die. I was just defending myself—

My phone rang then, startling me so badly that I actually gasped out loud. Oh god, who was it? Did somebody see? Did they report me to the cops?

It was Lisa. She didn’t even give me a chance to say hello before she said in a clipped voice, “Come to the stacks. Now.”

My breath caught in my throat, and I very nearly started hyperventilating. I forced myself to slow down and take a deep breath. And another. I was okay. I knew what this was going to be about. She didn’t know what I’d just done.

Then it hit me. So what if she knew what I did? She of all people wouldn’t be in a hurry to go to the cops.

I paced for a bit, trying to smooth out my frantic thoughts, reminding myself to breathe deep, to gather myself before walking back to campus. This was okay. This was good. In fact, yeah, this was how things should have gone. Because even if I pinned the drugs on Logan, he was never going to let me go. He’d spend a few years in prison, or maybe in juvie, and once he was out, he’d hunt me down. This had to happen for me to have a future. I took in a shaky breath and calmed myself. I was okay. And even if I wasn’t right this very moment, I was going to be okay.

I hurried across the quad toward the library and went through the side door, which I knew would remain unlocked. Inside, it was so quiet that I could hear my own heartbeat. My footsteps sounded thunderous in the large, silent space.

Lisa practically pounced on me when I unlocked the door to the office. Her eyes were wild, her face red with barely repressed anger. “I know you’ve been sampling the product. I’ve got thousands of dollars of merchandise missing here!” This was the first time I’d ever seen the timid librarian act crack, and it caught me off guard. I stumbled back a bit before catching myself. “Dee, I told you, if you ever steal from me—”

“There would be grave consequences, emphasis on thegrave,” I said. “Yes, I remember.” I had to work hard to keep my voice from trembling.Be strong. You’ve got this.

“So where’s the stuff? There are six packs of MDMA missing, two bottles of Ambien, not to mention the coke. My profits—”

“They’ll take a hit, yes, but it’s better than getting arrested for being a drug dealer.” I was speaking sense, I knew. She wouldn’t be able to refute this.

Lisa froze and gaped at me. “What?”

My voice solidified. I’d planned for this, didn’t I? Everything, down to the last meticulous detail. I’d tied up all the loose ends. There was no reason why my plan couldn’t go on, just because Logan was dead. “Haven’t you noticed that Detective Mendez is closing in? She came down here, for god’s sake. It was only a matter of time before she realized we’re the ones dealing.”

“No.” Lisa shook her head and pushed up her glasses. “She didn’t—she didn’t think I was a threat.”

“Oh, right, and she came all the way down here and asked us about the Post Ur Secret board just for fun. Face it, Lisa, we were gonna get caught. I chose to take the initiative to save us.”

“What? How?”

I shrugged casually, even though I was sweating like mad. If this didn’t work, if I couldn’t convince Lisa, it would be the end of me. “I pinned it on someone else.”

Lisa’s mouth dropped open. With her glasses and her ridiculous outfit, she looked so much like a caricature, I almost broke into hysterical laughter. I must be reeling from all that adrenaline that killing Logan had pumped through me. “You what?” she breathed. “Who?”

“It doesn’t matter. Consider the missing product payment for taking the cops off our backs. You can afford to take a cut from the profits this month. I mean, it’s not like you’re living large or anything.”

Lisa shook her head with disbelief. “I can’t—” She sighed. Took another deep breath. Sighed again. “So you’re confident about this?”

“Yep.”

“And the person you framed, they won’t be able to prove it was you?”

An image of Logan’s lifeless body floating downstream flashed through my head. “No.”

Lisa studied me for a long while, and maybe she saw something, maybe she caught a glimpse of the red beast that lived inside me. She took a step back. Lisa was scared of me. Lisa. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.

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