Page 82 of Dial A for Aunties

I raise my eyes to the ceiling. “Whatever. Here you go. I got it.” I toss the duffel bag onto the floor, grimacing when it hits thefloor with a loud tinkle. Shit, I hope I haven’t just broken some priceless Cartier watch or whatever.

“Hati-hati!” Big Aunt cries.

“Sorry, I wasn’t thinking—” It’s hard trying to make a statement.

“Oooh, exciting,” Maureen says, getting up from the chair. She starts to bend over, stops, then points her gun at me and says, “Open it.”

I do as she tells me and step back as she uses her toes to prod at the bag. Jewelry and watches glitter from inside it.

“Wow,” Maureen says after a pause. “I didn’t think you’d pull it off.”

“I tell you, my daughter is very smart,” Ma says, nodding and smiling proudly at me.

I feel a flush of pride before I realize how fucked up it is to feel proud about this. Still, it’s nice to be complimented.

“How did you do it?” Maureen says, staring at me. “How did you even get inside the safe? The bridal room must be full of people. How’d you get past them?”

“Well, let’s see. I told them I was there to talk to Jacqueline, and then I talked to Jacqueline alone and told her you wanted the gifts, and she let me have them.”

They all stare at me like I’ve just grown another head.

Maureen lets out a bark. “Oh, right, yeah, she just let you have them.”

“Yeah, she did. She said she doesn’t want them anyway, now that they’re tainted with all the bad stuff that’s happened, and she said you might as well have them.”

“You’re lying. Stop lying!” Maureen grasps the gun with both hands and aims it straight at my head.

There’s a squawk from my family. “Aduh, don’t point gun at people,” Big Aunt says.

“Please, Maureen, put the gun down, be good girl,” Ma pleads.

“Quiet, I’m trying to think!” Maureen glares at me. “How did you really get it?”

“I told them I wanted to talk to Jacqueline. She was in the bedroom all alone. I went in, held her at gunpoint, and told her to empty the safe or I’d shoot.”

Maureen’s chin trembles. “Was she okay?”

“No, she wasn’t okay. What did you think was going to happen?”

“I don’t know! I didn’t think you’d actually go through with it!”

“Well, I did, and here’s your stupid stash, now you can take it—there must be at least two million dollars’ worth of stuff in there—and GO.”

Maureen’s eyes dart to the bag. Back to me. Down to the bag. “Did—um—did she ask about me at all?”

“Why do you care? You literally just had me rob her.”

“Only because I didn’t—I wanted—”

“What?” I snap, taking a step toward her. “You wanted what?”

“I was going to—I thought maybe this way, Jackie would come here and talk to me. Without calling the cops or anything. If she saw that I have the gifts, but I gave them back, maybe she’d—I don’t know—”

“Why would she want to talk to you again after you stole from her? Twice!”

“I wasn’t going to steal from her. That wasn’t the plan!”

“What was the plan? How did you even get to know Ah Guan in the first place?”

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