Page 41 of Four Aunties and a Wedding

She wears a pale blue pantsuit that’s obviously tailored to fit her perfectly, along with a matching fascinator that is somehow both modest and eye-catching. Everything about her screams class. Even the way she walks speaks of both power and grace. Wow. Somehow, I understand why this woman is targeted by the mafia. I can totally imagine her being involved in a massive business deal worth hundreds of millions of dollars, or maybe even ordering politicians to make laws that will hurt crime lords. The need to protect her burns even more fiercely when I see her.

“Oh god,” I mutter, because Staphanie has spotted her as well and is walking toward her with a determined look on her face. Oh my god, is it going to happen now? I can’t watch—

The next moment, Fourth Aunt has elbowed Staphanie out of the way unceremoniously and Big Aunt and Second Aunt shoulder their way through the crowd as if they’re scything through the Sunday dim sum crowd. They move without any regard for courtesy, shoving both old and young out of the way until they get to Lilian. Then, to my horror, and probably to Lilian’s as well, they each take one arm and beam at her as if they’re old buddies of hers.

Lilian must be way too polite to ask them who the hell they are, because the three of them walk arm-in-arm through the crowd and into the cathedral. I turn to Ma.

“Wow.”

Ma nods. “Mm.”

“I mean. Wow. They basically just abducted her.”

Ma shrugs. “Not abduct, maybe more escorting. Why she wear pants? She is quite manly, ya?”

I bury my face in my hands.

16

How do I describe the moments before my entrance? Gut-curdling nervousness? Fireworks of excitement? Both?

As Ma and I make our way from the waiting room to the outside of the cathedral, my knees keep buckling and I hold on to Ma’s arm so tight I’m reminded of the times when I was a little kid and was scared of this and that. I was a pretty cowardly kid. Maybe it has to do with growing up with five boy cousins who ping-ponged back and forth between being fiercely protective and complete asshats. Because I was their girl cousin, they had to make sure that I didn’t get frogs put in my water bottle, except for the ones that they’d put in themselves. Anyway, I remember countless moments when I clung to Ma just like this, as if she were my life raft.

I glance at her, taking in the fine wrinkles at the side of her eyes and mouth, and my heart aches with so much love. I tug at her arm, and when she turns, I give her a tight hug.

“Love you so much, Ma.”

“Tch, apa sih?” She laughs and pulls away. “Why suddenly say such thing?” Ah, yes, now I remember why I don’t tell Ma I love her more often, because she doesn’t quite know what to do with it.

Seb and Selena are waiting outside the doors to the cathedral, along with Nathan’s two groomsmen, Ishaq and Tim. Their faces brighten when they see us and they each give me a huge hug. I close my eyes and breathe in the familiar fragrance that Selena has worn since college, letting myself take a bit of strength from the hug from my oldest friend.

“You ready?” Selena says.

I nod, and the music swells as the doors open.

“See you in there,” Ishaq says, and walks down the aisle, followed by Tim.

Seb and Selena kiss me on the cheeks and then walk inside arm in arm in time to the music.

“Ready,” Ma says.

I link my arm through hers and squeeze my bouquet as though I were grasping a sword handle. Given that all our vendors have turned out to be fakes, my bouquet is surprisingly beautiful. Even Ma, florist extraordinaire that she is, begrudgingly noted that the mix of hydrangeas and lilies and peonies is not bad work for an amateur. I suppose I’ve got that little thing to be grateful about. Together, we step inside the cathedral.

I’ve been here before, of course. Years ago, when I first visited Nathan’s parents in England, he’d taken me on a tour of the different colleges. I had gazed in awe at the huge Norman columns and the magnificent vaulted ceilings and the elaborate stained glass windows and golden altar. But now, I see none of these things. I don’t see the guests, who are all on their feet. I don’t see Staphanie’s family, who must be lurking in theshadows like snakes waiting to strike. Well, except for Second Uncle.

The only thing I see is Nathan, who’s beaming at me and brushing back tears. At the sight of his tears, mine start to fall as well. It’s like a dam of emotions that I can’t hold back. As Ma walks me down the aisle, Nathan and I both cry tears of happiness, of relief that after everything, we’re finally about to be married.

Ma kisses my cheeks and goes to take her seat at the pew, and quite suddenly, I’m alone at the altar with Nathan. He lifts my veil so gently, like I’m a present he can’t quite believe he’s opening, and stares at me with open adoration until the priest clears his throat. We jump and grin guiltily.

“We are gathered here today...”

I let the words wash over me, throwing elated glances at Nathan. He is incandescent with joy. He’s not even pretending to pay attention to the ceremony. He’s just beaming at me the entire time, his eyes shining with tears, his hands tight around mine. The priest’s words fade away. All our surroundings fade away. We might as well be the only two people in the entire world right now. In this moment, the only thing that matters to me is Nathan. And I see him again as that fresh-faced college kid, his jaw less defined than it is now, making him look more vulnerable and boyish. I see us with textbooks, pretending to study while sneaking glances at each other. I remember our first kiss at the frat party, with the string lights above us like multicolored stars. And I recall, with a stab of heartache, how it felt to lose him.

Then we’re both suddenly aware of expectant silence. With great reluctance, we break eye contact and glance at the priest, who gives a minuscule sigh—dude knows we haven’t paid any attention to a single word he’s said—and says, “It’s time foryour vows.” He hands Nathan his mic. Nathan clears his throat, looking nervous for the first time I can remember. It makes him look so young and sweet, I just want to pounce on him.

“I, Nathan Mingfeng Chan, take you, Meddelin Meiyue Chan, to be my best friend, the love of my life, and my lawfully wedded wife. You are my soul mate, my mind mate, my everything. Meddy, I promise to be the best husband I can be. I promise to share all of me with you—the good and the bad and the in-between. I promise to be true to you...”

A lump forms in my throat. He has always been true to me, but I haven’t always reciprocated. In fact, there have been so many times in our relationship when I was either hiding things from him or actively lying to him. Tears rush to my eyes, and this time they’re not tears of happiness but of guilt. On our wedding day, I am yet again lying to him. I blink them back and focus on the rest of his vows, while my mind is a swirl of love and sadness and anxiety.

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