Page 52 of Four Aunties and a Wedding

Fourth Aunt growls, baring her teeth. “I will cut—”

“Aren’t photos so fun?” I spring between them, smiling manically. Jesus, what are these words coming out of my mouth? “You all lookamazing. Justamazing!” Someone stop me, please.

“Meddy is so close to her aunts, they’re like her parents,” Nathan says to his parents.

“Then why bother having a list if they’re going to be in every picture?” Annie says.

Fourth Aunt looks at Big Aunt and cocks her head. “You want me to pop this bi—”

“Is okay, we not need to be in all photos, you right, Annie,” Ma says.

“No,” Big Aunt says. “Not right.” She widens her eyes at Ma meaningfully. “We are powerful family, we not giving in.”

We are powerful family...? Of course. A mafia family wouldn’t back down over something as trivial as pictures. All of the life squeaks out of me and I deflate, watching helplessly as Big Aunt turns to Annie and says, firmly, “We staying as family for photo. No worry, Annie, luv, it will be dog’s bollocks.”

Annie blinks, looking as though she’s just been punched in the face. I can’t say I blame her.

“Er, yeah,” Nathan says slowly. “Yeah, it’ll be... dog’s bollocks.” He’s looking really confused, but also suspiciously like he’s trying to hold back laughter. I’m annoyed until I recall that to him, this is a normal wedding and these are just normal wedding hiccups and nothing to do with a life-and-death situation. “Come on, Mum, it’ll be fine. It’s not a big deal. The more the merrier.”

Annie smiles weakly as we huddle into a tight group and pose for the photo.

“One, two... um.” Staphanie lowers the camera.

“What’s wrong?” Nathan says.

“Uh.” We all follow her gaze to my family, and I pray for the ground to open up and swallow us, because they’re all doing the most ridiculous poses I can imagine. Big Aunt is standing ramrod straight, chin up, arms akimbo like a proud dictator overseeing her army. Second Aunt has plunged into a Tai Chi pose that’s probably called something like “Grab Your Opponent by the Balls.” Ma is openly glaring at Staphanie with anger, and Fourth Aunt has gone full Kardashian—butt out, lips pouting, one arm straight up over her head, the other perched on her hip.

I close my eyes. This is a nightmare. Wake up now. Please?

Thing is, I have no idea if this is part of their whole “act like a mafia family” thing or if this is just them being themselves. I suppose it could be either.

“Oh,” Annie says nervously. “Are we doing fun poses, then?”

“Fun pose?” Big Aunt says in a stern voice. “What is... fun pose?” She says the word “fun” as if it’s a completely alien concept.

Annie stares at her.

“Just take the picture,” I beg Staphanie.

She shrugs and raises the camera. I force a smile, focusing on the reassuring warmth of Nathan’s hand on my back as the shutter clicks. I try not to think of what the final photos will look like. Plus, there are other, more pressing things to worry about right now, like where the hell is Ama and what is she up to?

Fortunately, the next few photos on the list only require Nathan’s side of the family. Unfortunately, it means I get even less of a chance to grab one of my aunts to tell them to—I don’t know—watch out for Ama, or whatever.

“Is there a reason why your family seems to have adopted Lilian?” Nathan murmurs, watching as my family rushes to Lilian, who looks slightly surprised and unnerved to see them stampeding back toward her.

“Oh, I think they just really connected with her. You know, what with her being a single woman and all,” I say, then quickly pat his arm and gesture at the camera to remind him to smile for the next picture.

A flash of movement from the far corner catches my eye. My blood freezes. It’s Ama, talking to Third Uncle. From where we’re standing, I can’t hear what they’re saying, but it’s clear from Third Uncle’s movements that he’s close to panicking. He’s gesticulating wildly, shaking his head, pacing about. Ama says something and he freezes before hanging his head. I can feel his shame all the way from over here. Then he leaves, looking grimly resolute.

It’s clear what’s just happened. She’s told him to go and find Second Uncle.

21

“Okay, sorry, guys, picture time is postponed for a bit. Bride needs a bathroom break. Oh, wait, I’m the bride. Yeah, I need a bathroom break, okay, sorry! Be back in a bit. Sorry!” I wave apologetically at everyone as I rush to my family, leaving poor, sweet Nathan looking confused.

“Meddy, you done with photo already?” Ma says. “Aduh, why you run here, run there, later you get sweaty your makeup will run. You see, your hair become messy already.”

“I have to—can I talk to you all for a second?” Belatedly, I notice Lilian in the middle of the group. Argh. I can’t have them leave her, especially not right now, when Ama has just sent Third Uncle to do something nefarious like fetch his sniper rifle. “Fourth Aunt, you stay here. The rest of you, please, I need to talk to you.”

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