Page 55 of Four Aunties and a Wedding

“Ma, are you okay?”

“Yes, yes, just trip and fall against door. I almost get—ungh—ha!” She pants loudly and then unlocks the door and staggers out, holding another plastic baggie with a triumphant smile. This time, I don’t wait for Big Aunt or Second Aunt to react before grabbing it myself.

“Eh, Er Jie, zip me up, ya,” Ma says, gesturing to her back.

Second Aunt does so, her mouth still half open.

“I can’t believe you have two baggies of TCM on you,” I marvel. Then I pause. “Wait, how many baggies of TCMdoyou have on you?”

Ma tuts again, sucking in her breath, while Second Aunt grapples with the zipper of her dress. “Aduh, Meddy, of course this my last baggie.”

I exchange a look with Big Aunt but decide not to press on. Anyway, my mother being a drug lord has turned out to be a good thing, so maybe I shouldn’t make too big a fuss.

“Right,” I say, holding the second baggie tight. “Now. We need to decide who gets to do the honors. Of spiking the drinks, which isn’t very honorable at all,” I add. “Maybe Ma can do it? After all, she’s done it before, at Tom and Jacqueline’s wedding?”

Ma beams at me as if I’ve just bestowed a huge honor on her instead of asking her to roofie some drinks. “Wah, me? Really?”

“I feel like you think this is commendable...”

Ma snatches the baggie from me. “Yes! Yes, okay, I do. Thank you for trust.” She hugs it to her chest, practicallyshining with pride. Big Aunt and Second Aunt nod with thin-lipped smiles like they’re Taylor Swift losing a Grammy to Adele.

“Okay. Well, glad we got that sorted. Maybe Big Aunt and Second Aunt can distract other people while Ma spikes the drinks? That would be very helpful.”

They grunt their agreement and we all file out of the bathroom. Ma skips the entire way back to the garden, the Komodo dragon on her head bopping jauntily as she goes. What family gene am I missing? I’m pretty sure I would never be excited about spiking someone’s drink.

When we get back to the Masters Garden, I join Nathan while Ma and my aunts go to the drinks table.

“Ah, there you are,” Nathan says. “Glad to have you back.”

Is it just me, or is his smile a bit forced? I wish I could pull him aside to talk, but I’m immediately distracted by friends and family coming by to chat with us, not to mention Staphanie, who’s hovering nearby and taking the occasional photo. Plus, what would I say to Nathan anyway? Where would I even begin with my explanation of this insane day? So instead, I smile back at him and make small talk with our guests, fake-laughing my way through inane conversations about how gorgeous everything is, and oh yes, isn’t my dress wonderful, do you know, it’s an original piece by an Indonesian designer.

In the midst of all this, I watch out of the corner of my eye as Ma, Big Aunt, and Second Aunt crowd around the drinks table, flapping and occasionally squawking at each other.

After a few tense moments, the little group finally breaks up and Ma carries a tray of champagne flutes with a smug smile. They look around the garden, spot Staphanie taking pictures of Annie and Chris, and begin their approach.

“Staphanie!” Ma calls out with a huge smile. “You working so hard, ya? You such good girl, very good photographer, very good.”

God, does the woman not have any subtlety? She might as well be yelling, “I AM UP TO NO GOOD.” Staphanie lowers her camera and frowns at Ma. I gnaw on my bottom lip. How in the world did she manage to drug the groomsmen at Tom’s wedding in the first place?

Belatedly, I recall that Fourth Aunt had been part of that equation. Of course. Fourth Aunt would be a lot smoother than this. Plus, the groomsmen were already tipsy by then, so the bar was a lot lower. I need to swoop in and help smooth things over.

“Excuse me,” I mutter, slipping away from Nathan’s side and going to join Staphanie and Ma.

“Meddy, I just telling Staphanie here she doing so good job,” Ma says.

“Yes, such good job, such good girl,” Big Aunt says.

“Oh, how lovely,” Annie says, smiling at the two of them. “And yes, I agree, Staphanie, you’ve been just wonderful today. Hasn’t she, dear?” She turns to Nathan’s father, who’s obviously not paying attention. He gives an absentminded nod before excusing himself to chat with another guest.

“We have toast now,” Second Aunt declares, picking up a champagne flute and shoving it at Staphanie.

“Huh?” Staphanie takes a small step back. “Sorry, I don’t drink while I’m on the clock.”

“That’s what I always say,” I pipe in, taking the flute from Second Aunt. “But Staphanie, I insist. I of all people know how hard wedding photographers work, and I think you deserve a little treat.” I hold out the glass to her before taking another one off the tray. “A toast!”

“Okay...” Staphanie takes the glass from me and lifts it to her mouth. My heart soars.

“No!” someone barks.

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