Page 75 of Four Aunties and a Wedding

Annie and Chris nod slowly.

“Can we talk now?” Nathan says. “Just you and me.”

“Oh, I was going to—” Excuses fire through my mind. All of them fall flat. “Yeah, okay.”

Nathan leads me away from the group and we walk in silence toward the meadows. Night has fallen, and the place is deserted. The song of crickets fills the air, and the loveliness of our surroundings just highlights what a terrible catastrophe I’ve turned everything into. Tears sting my eyes. I’m glad that it’s dark so Nathan can’t see them.

“So,” he says, after a while.

“So.”

“You ready to tell me what’s really going on?”

“I—uh.” By now, Fourth Aunt must be back in the antechamber. There will now be not one, not two, but three tied-up men in there.

“Why did your family tackle Lilian?”

“Because, um—they were trying to protect her?” Technically not a lie, but it comes out sounding shady as fuck.

Nathan sighs, his shoulders sagging. “Please, Meddy, tell me the truth.”

There are no words for how badly I wish I could tell him everything. But what about Staphanie and Ama? For all I know, they could be lurking in the shadows, listening to us. What would they do if they catch me telling Nathan? Come to think of it, what are they plotting now, after we’ve so clearly gone against their warnings and ruined their plans to kill Lilian? What would their revenge be?

It’s all too much to figure out. “We were trying to protect her,” I insist. The words fall out of my mouth heavy with untruth.

Disappointment washes over Nathan’s face, weighing down his handsome features. “Are you seriously still lying to me after what just happened?” The hurt in his eyes is almost a physical blow to my gut. “I can’t do this.” And then, just like that, he turns and walks away, leaving me alone with the chirp of the crickets as company.

29

It’s a weird thing, heartbreak. What a strange word, but it is the most apt description of what it feels like—my entire being cracking, first the heart, then the cracks going out farther until each finger shatters and I crumble into a pile of rubble.

Okay, that sounds melodramatic, but try being abandoned on your wedding day in a meadow with cows and then tell me you don’t feel as if you’ve just shattered into dust. Maybe the cows will put me out of my misery and eat me.

I’m losing him. Maybe I’ve already lost him.

He’s leaving me because I’ve pushed him away, and if I’ve pushed him away, then it’s down to me to pull him back.

“No!” I scream.

In the distance, the retreating figure stops. I start running, nearly tripping over the dusty, pebbly ground.

“Don’t you fucking walk away!” I cry, not at all sounding like an unhinged bride.

“Meddy, I just need a—”

I tackle him. A full-on body slam straight into the middle of his chest. I suppose I am my mother’s daughter after all.

Nathan staggers back but holds on to me tightly. His arms encircle me and don’t let go, and because they don’t let go, I allow myself to cry.

The tears flow out of me uncontrollably, an entire river of everything—fear, panic, anxiety. I shouldn’t tell him, I shouldn’t put this burden on him, I shouldn’t—

Why shouldn’t I? Because I wanted to keep this day perfect and worry-free for him? Well, that’s definitely ruined now. Because I wanted to protect him? This is definitely not an ignorance-is-bliss situation. Or is it because of pure selfishness? Because I feel guilty for dragging him into this mess in the first place? Ah Guan was all my fault, and it very nearly cost Nathan his entire career. I guess part of me has never gotten over that, even after everything worked out fine. Except it turns out that everything hasn’t worked out fine. Oh my god, my thoughts are not making any sense whatsoever.

“Staphanie is mafia!” I blurt out.

Nathan’s arms go rigid. He looks down at me. “Come again?”

“Staph and her family, they’rethe family. Like the Godfather, or the Sopranos, or—”

---