Page 77 of Four Aunties and a Wedding

We knock on the door to the bedroom. Ma’s voice comes from the other side. “Who there?”

I breathe a sigh of relief. She’s okay. “It’s me, Meddy.”

“Oh, Meddy!” There’s a flurry of excited chatter from inside the room, and then the door swings open and Ma comes out and gives me a great big hug. “Aduh, so happy you okay, wah, why you take so long to come—oh, Nathan!” Ma looks at me with panicky eyes, probably wondering why I’ve brought Nathan here when I know damn well there are three kidnapped men tied up in the room.

“He knows.”

“I know,” Nathan says. He pops his head inside, sees the scene before him, steps back outside, and closes the door behind him. There is a beat of silence. Ma and I stare at him, too terrified to say a word. Finally, he says, “When you said, ‘We might have kidnapped three people,’ I didn’t think you meant it quite so literally.”

I throw up my hands. “How else can that be interpreted?”

“I don’t know, Meddy, I’ve never had to think about how to properly tell someone that you’ve kidnapped three people!” Nathan cries.

I blanch at his words and he softens.

“I’m sorry. I’m freaking out a little because it seems you do actually have three men trussed up like turkeys in here.”

“Oh yes,” Ma says proudly. “Very good, ya? We do ourselves, you know.”

I shake my head at her. Nathan gives her a weak smile.

“We should probably have this conversation inside,” I say.

Nathan takes a deep breath before nodding, and we open the door and file in.

It looks bad. I mean, I know it technicallyisbad, but it looks even worse than expected. My family has lined up the three men side by side. Big Uncle is still passed out. Second Uncle is awake and struggling against his bonds, and Third Uncle is blinking and looking around all confused, still covered in the remnants of the wedding cake.

“Nathan!” Big Aunt says. “So good you come here!” She is, of course, sipping tea with the other aunts. “Come, you have tea with us. Si Mei, give him tea.”

“That’s okay, I don’t really—”

“One tea coming up,” Fourth Aunt cuts in, getting up and pouring him a cup.

Nathan accepts the tea with a stunned expression. He thanks her and takes a sip before putting the cup down. “We need to let these men go.”

The room explodes in a rush of arguments.

Big Aunt: “Impossible.”

Second Aunt: “We let them go, they kill everyone!”

Ma: “Aduh, how can? They very naughty boys, very bad!”

Fourth Aunt: “You mean after we kill them?”

Second Uncle: “Mmmf mm mfmmf!”

I can’t take this anymore. “Shut up!” I shout. “SHUT UP.”

Miraculously, they all stop and look at me. Now what? “We need to—well, we do need to figure out what to do with them,” I say finally.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Fourth Aunt says. “We hold them hostage until their psycho mafia family promises not to kill us.”

“Oh, so easy, ya?” Ma snorts. “You think so easy? We justtell them, ‘Eh, you promise don’t kill us, ya?’ and they will say, ‘Okay, we promise.’ Then we let these men go, and then the mafia will say, ‘Oh ho ho, good, you let them go, now we kill you!’ ”

Everyone starts speaking and arguing again until I clap and say, “One at a time!”

Second Aunt raises her hand and waves it at me. “Me, I have idea!” she says. I nod at her. “Okay, easy, we kill one of them to send message: you dare come after us, we kill you all,” she says, nodding and smiling eagerly.

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