Page 53 of Vera Wong's Unsolicited Advice for Murderers

And that was why he had to go to Vera’s teahouse. Because Riki thought that things had been bad before, but murder... he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he found out that he’d killed another human being, no matter how accidental it was.

•••

Vera regards Riki for a long time after he’s done talking. Riki’s insides are churning crazily, but in a strange way, he feels better after spilling everything.

When she finally speaks, she says, “Well, now we know your punch is not as strong as you think.”

Okay, Riki wasn’t sure what Vera would say, but it was definitely not this. “Huh?”

“Your punch didn’t kill him. It was pigeon, remember?”

“Oh, right.” A shrill, nervous laugh escapes him. “Yeah. You have no idea how relieved I was when I heard that. This wholetime, I was wondering if I was a murderer...” His voice cracks and he has to stop to blink away the tears.

“Oh, if I know earlier, I would have told you, you obviously don’t have enough upper-body strength to kill a man with one punch.” Vera reaches out and pinches Riki’s bicep. “See? Too soft. You should do more muscle training.”

Riki laughs through his tears. “You’re right, Vera.”

Vera pats his shoulder. “Yes, you will learn that I often am. Hmm, okay, so you are not killer.” She seems somewhat disappointed by this. Riki wipes at his eyes as Vera takes out a notebook from her trolley bag and opens it up, licking her finger and flipping through the pages. “Ah, here is your suspect page.” She takes out a pen and crosses out his name. “Oh no, that leaves Julia and Oliver. Oh, but I like Julia very much. And Oliver is so sad, he is like sad teddy bear. I would feel very bad if I have to send him to prison.”

“But you would’ve been okay if it was me?” Riki says, finding this both horrifying and yet hilarious at the same time.

Vera snaps her notebook shut. “Aiya, asking such silly question. Of course not. I care about all four of you. It’s too bad that one of you is Marshall killer, but oh well. We won’t dwell on such inauspicious things. Now, since you are not killer, we shall have a picnic. Help me unload this.”

Riki does as he’s told, bending down to take out various Tupperwares from Vera’s trolley. There is an astounding amount of food. “So you brought all this food here, but you would’ve let it all go to waste if it turns out I did kill Marshall?”

Vera sighs as she shakes out a picnic blanket. “Aiya, of course not. I invite Sana. She and I would have eaten all this foodourselves if it turn out you are killer. You would be in a police car, I expect.”

“Sana?” Riki’s heart starts hammering at the mention of her.

“Yes, oh, there she is!” Vera waves madly at a figure in the distance. Cupping her hands around her mouth, she hollers, “Sanaaa!Over heeeere!” The figure waves back, but Vera continues shouting.

“I think she’s seen you,” Riki says. “You can probably stop shouting now?”

Vera harrumphs and turns her attention back to unboxing the food. “Oh, now that we know you and Sana both not killers, you can date each other.”

“What?” Riki hates the way his cheeks immediately burst into flames.

“Don’t act so innocent, I see how you look at her. But I care about Sana, so I have to make sure that you are not killer before I give my blessing. Now you have my blessing, so you may pursue her. Tch, don’t just stand there gaping like fish! Keep taking out the container, there are still so many left.”

And as Riki resumes taking Tupperware containers out of the surprisingly large trolley, he realizes that for the first time in months, he feels lighter. The anvil that has been on his shoulders is still there, but it’s as though Vera has taken up a position next to him and is helping him lift it, just a little. Just enough for him to take a full breath. He glances at Vera and feels, for the first time, immensely grateful for her unexpected presence in his life.

TWENTY-EIGHT

VERA

Vera is very excited. First of all, her investigation is going so well. Already she’s crossed two suspects off her list. Anyone would be happy about that. She can’t wait to see the look on Officer Gray’s face when Vera finally identifies Marshall’s killer. She will have to sit Officer Gray down and go through her method step by step, just so the officer understands every brilliant move that Vera has made. Of course, crossing off Riki now means she is down to Julia and Oliver. The thought of either of them possibly being the killer saddens Vera, but no matter. She cannot let her emotions get in the way of her fine detective work. Did Sherlock Holmes ever let his affections cloud his judgment? Oh no, of course not. And neither will Vera Wong Zhuzhu. Of course, Officer Gray might require some food to assuage her, since she was so annoyed the last time they talked, on account of Vera failing to report the break-in. But she’ll get over it once Vera serves up the killer on a plate, Vera’s sure of it. Vera wonders if Officer Gray has made any headway with the investigation into the break-in, butunfortunately, she is unlikely to get any more information out of the officer. Not without her cooking up a storm for the department.

The other reason why Vera is excited is she’s finally getting to live out her dream as a Chinese mother: setting up two young people with each other. Okay, so neither of the two young people is her actual offspring, but since Tilly is so very disagreeable about any of her efforts to set him up with a nice girl, this is the next best thing. And maybe it’ll train her for when she sets Tilly up on a date. Also, by now, Vera cares about Sana and Riki as though they were her niece and nephew. Such bright young people, and they both have something in common: Marshall. Maybe their respective experiences with the hoodlum will be a bonding exercise. Oh yes, this is a good, auspicious match. Vera can already see Sana and Riki walking down the aisle. She’s going to make their kids call her Grandma, just like Emma does.

By the time Sana arrives at their spot, all the food is laid out beautifully on the picnic blanket. “Sit,” Vera orders. “Eat.”

She’s made a veritable feast yet again. And she is very proud of this one. It’s a bonanza of beach-friendly foods, none of them requiring cutlery. There are honey-glazed barbecued beef slices sandwiched in plump mantou buns with carrot and scallion relish. There are crispy fried egg rolls stuffed almost to bursting with shrimp and tofu. There are steamed dim sum: shao mai and salted egg custard buns and lap cheong rolls. One Tupperware is filled with neatly sliced watermelon and Korean pears to balance out all the meat. And to go along with all the food, there is a huge jug of iced poached pear tea with ginseng.

Nothing fills Vera with quite as much joy as watching loved ones eat her food. It’s one of the many things she misses about Jinlong and Tilly. When it was the three of them at home, she’dcook up a storm every day and watch as Jinlong and Tilly ate, and food always tasted so much better that way. Living alone, Vera finds that much of the joy of cooking has leached out of her, to the point where she mostly eats plain rice and simple sauteed vegetables for dinner. Why bother cooking elaborate meals for just one person?

But now she has so many people to cook for. Her days are filled to bursting and she’s constantly rushing here and there, and she can’t possibly be happier than this.

“Oh my god, this issogood,” Sana says, her mouth full with the beef bun. “God, Vera. You should open up a restaurant.”

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