Page 35 of The Good, the Bad, and the Aunties

I grimace. That was a definitely unhappy squawk from Ma. Next to me, Nathan rallies valiantly. “We think it would be wise to leave Jakarta as soon as we can.”

Fourth Aunt looks up from her handheld mirror, her other hand, holding a pair of tweezers, poised above her upper lip. “Why?” she says, before plucking a stray strand of mustache and wincing.

“Because we got involved with the triad?” I say loudly, gesturing for effect.

“Not triad,” Second Aunt sighs. “I tell you, Abi is good man, he is good businessman. Why you have to say ‘triad’ like that? Make him sound so bad.”

I grit my teeth so hard that I can practically feel them cracking. But I still need to bring Second Aunt on to our side if I’m to have any hope of convincing them, so I must be patient. “Yeah, maybe Abi is a good man, like you say, but Julia Child and the guy they crossed—the guywecrossed, actually—Kristofer Kolumbes, sound like bad news. I just don’t think we should be sticking around after the huge mess today.”

“Aduh, Meddy,” Ma says, shaking her head. “Why you must be so mellow dramatic? I tell you all the time, please, just relax, okay?”

Oh my god. My mother, of all people, telling me I’m melodramatic? I’m in some kind of hell, I know it. Still, I makemyself take a deep breath and release it through my teeth. I turn to Big Aunt, who is surely my best chance of getting some sense into my mother. “Big Aunt, you saw what happened. You were there. Julia Child literally kept Nathan hostage.”

Big Aunt frowns. She’s been sitting there quietly, calmly pondering what Nathan and I just brought up with them, and now all eyes are on her as she prepares to deliver her verdict. “Mm. This is hard decision, Meddy. On one hen, I also not like these people we tangle with. On the other hen, if we leave so suddenly, all of us, maybe people will think: Why? Why they go so fast?”

“Aiya, we will lose face for sure!” Ma gasps. “Yes, you are right, Dajie. Everyone will asking this and that. Why you must go so sudden? Suddenly you leaving, must be something wrong, maybe business in California fail.”

All of the aunties’ faces pale at this. Even Fourth Aunt lowers her handheld mirror to gape at the others in dismay.

Poor, unsuspecting, sweet Nathan clears his throat. “Um, I’m sure the rest of the family wouldn’t jump to that conclusion,” he says before I can stop him.

Oh no. He’s done it now.

All four women descend on him like shrieking harpies.

Second Aunt: “Hah. That is exactly the first conclusion they jumping to.”

Ma: “Oh, they will be so smug, you can just see that Marilin face, she will smile like this and say, ‘Oh, such shame that your business got trouble. I tell you all those years ago, don’t move to California, but you never listen to me.’ ”

Fourth Aunt: “You have no idea what these bitches will say about us.”

Nathan now has his palms up in front of his face, shieldinghimself from them. “But—wait—I don’t get it—we just had a lovely celebration with these people. They’re so close to you. They’re so friendly. Why—”

“Tch,” Big Aunt tuts, and everyone else quiets down. She narrows her eyes at Nathan. “Nathan, you are half-Asian, how you cannot understand this?” When he opens his mouth to reply, Big Aunt holds up her palm and shakes her head. “Never mind. Is because you growing up in small family, I know. But with big family, everything is complicated. Yes, of course we love one another. But we all have our own argument with one another. And when we leave Indonesia for America so many years ago, there are many—what you call it—”

“Petty bitches,” Fourth Aunt pipes up.

Big Aunt nods somberly. “Yes, petty bitches.” I have no idea if she even knows what the words mean. I hope she doesn’t. “They get angry. Why we leave? Maybe some of them want to leave, too, but they cannot because this reason, that reason. So yes, they are happy for us, wah, we make it in America. But they also not that happy because maybe they are a bit jealous.”

“But they’ve made it here,” Nathan mutters. “I mean, look at this house. It’s massive.”

“Yeah, we’re petty bitches about it too,” Fourth Aunt says. “Have you not heard the number of backhanded compliments we’ve given them? Do I regret leaving Indonesia? Sometimes. Am I ever going to admit that to them? Over my dead body.”

Big Aunt nods. “But is like, how you say, the grass got early worms on the other side.”

“The grass is greener on the other side,” I say.

Big Aunt frowns. “Why it would be greener on other side? It will be the same green. But got more worms, so the soil more fertile, then you can grow more veggie-tibbles.”

“Uh...” I give up. “Yeah, that’s true.”

Nathan nods slowly, looking dazed. “Right... I think I get it?” He glances at me, and I shrug. I don’t even really get it, and I’ve grown up with this. But no world politics is more complicated than the aunties network. He turns back to Ma and the aunts. “So even though you’ve all done well, half of you by moving to America, and the other half by staying behind, you secretly wish you’d done a lot better than them.”

Ma nods happily. “Yes, exactly. Aduh, you very smart deh, Nathan. Surely your babies all be genius, go to Mensa.”

Nathan gives a weak laugh. “Maybe we can make up some urgent reason for us all to leave Jakarta?”

Ma harrumphs. “No, is been so long since we see everybody. I want to spend more time with my family.”

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