Page 4 of The Good, the Bad, and the Aunties

Instinct takes over and I raise my arms to shield my face as they stampede toward me, but instead of the fierce, overwhelming hug I expected, they rush past me. “Wha—” I turn around. And stare.

I was right. They truly do not give a shit about seeing me. It’s all about Nathan, the golden boy; the chiseled, Captain America–jawlined hero.

“My son!” Ma cries happily, throwing her arms around him.

Fourth Aunt pinches his cheek, nearly taking out an eye with her viciously manicured fingernails. Meanwhile, Second Aunt has picked up one of his arms and is holding it up for the other aunties and uncles to admire.

“Look, so muscular, ya? I tell you, such a strong lad.”

The other aunties and unclesoohandaah. “Wah, yes, so healthy. Will give you good, strong grandchildren.”

Second Aunt simpers as though they’ve complimented her arm and not Nathan’s. “Is because I teach him Tai Chi.”

Big Aunt snorts and rolls her eyes. “I think Nathan already working out before you rope him into doing Tai Chi with you.”

“Er—” Nathan’s eyes ping-pong back and forth between Big Aunt and Second Aunt before going to me with a silent plea for help. I smirk at him, enjoying the fact that:

For the first time, I’m not the center of attention.

He was so confident and smug about everything being fine in Jakarta, so he can very well deal with them himself.

Is that mean? I should probably come to his aid orsomething, shouldn’t I? I shouldn’t leave my newlywed husband (!) at the mercy of my family.

With a sigh, I walk up to them and wave weakly. “Hi, everyone.”

As though she’s just remembered the existence of her only daughter, Ma whips around. “Ah, Meddy, there you are.”

“I’ve been here the whole time. You literally walked right past me.”

“Aduh, you look so tired.” Ma places her hands on my cheeks and squeezes. “So pale. Why so pale? You not feeling well? You too skinny! You need to eat more. Aiya, must be the food in France no good, that’s why you get so skinny, you eat more, okay?”

“But not too much,” Second Aunt says, “otherwise later you get high cholesterol.”

“Yes, don’t eat too much,” Ma agrees. “But do eat more, you see, otherwise your face is so peyot.” She sucks in her cheeks to illustrate just how peyot—sunken—my cheeks look. “Like old hag,” she adds, just to drive her point home.

“Mm.” Second Aunt nods. “But remember, not eat too much, otherwise blood pressure spike, then you will die.”

“Uh. Right.” I take an inhale and smile at them. “I’ll eat more, but not too much more, okay.”

“She is pale, right?” Ma says to the others, still not mollified by my answer. They all nod in agreement.

“Maybe she enter wind,” one of the uncles suggests.

“Enter wind?” Nathan says.

I gently pull Ma’s hands off my face. “It’s an Indonesian phrase—masuk angin. It means catch a cold. And no, I don’t have a cold. I’m just tired because, you know, eighteen-hour flight and all that. Anyway—” I’m desperate to change thesubject. “Ma, didn’t you guys arrive only this morning? How are you so...” I gesture around for a bit, looking for the right word. “Perky?”

“Aduh, of course is because of my TCM,” Ma announces with pride.

My stomach drops. Oh god, the woman can’t possibly be foolhardy enough to bring marijuana into Indonesia, a country with the harshest penalties for drug abuse.

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