Page 47 of The Good, the Bad, and the Aunties

Big Aunt leans forward, putting her face close to the driver’s window. “Caterers from the Ritz.” She gives him her most motherly smile. “We’ve got the food for tonight’s feast.”

The guard nods and says, “Open the back.”

Nathan does so, and we all hold our breath as the German shepherd leaps into the back of the van and smells the foam boxes noisily.

“What do you have in there?” the second guard asks, standing behind the dog.

“Food,” Ma says.

There’s a pause. “Right... what kind of food?”

Oh god, just come up with something!my mind shrieks.But my mouth refuses to open. Apparently, the rest are just as tongue-tied when faced with a rifle-toting guard and a trained German shepherd. The pause stretches, and the guard shifts his weight, his hand traveling down toward his rifle. “You don’t know what kind of food—”

“Tch!” Big Aunt snaps. “How many times must I go over the menu with you useless lot? I’ve told you, tonight we are serving the roast suckling pig, yes? Did you lot forget that already? And to go with it, we’ve got pearl shrimp dumplings, and whole steamed bass, and garlic scallops cooked in their shells—have you prepped the scallops?” The barrage of questions is fired without any pause for breath.

“Um, ah...” My mouth opens, but nothing coherent comes out.

Big Aunt rounds in on me. “You see? Unprepared. That’s what you all are. Pay cut, all of you. Now, when we go inside, first thing I’m doing is checking the scallops, and if they’re not cleaned, one of you will befired.”

Even the guards have leaned back, wearing the horrified expressions I know so well. “Um,” one of them says, “that’s... uh, well, everything looks to be in order. Go around the corner to the east wing of the house. You’ll find the service entrance there.” He shuts the back door of the van quickly and thumps on it twice to signal to the driver to go. We all breathe a sigh of relief.

“That was really quick thinking, Big Aunt,” Nathan says, wiping his brow.

Big Aunt sniffs. “Lucky for you all, I think very fast on my head. You see, this what you get when you working as head chef. Something go wrong—something always going wrong,no event has perfect record—the most important thing is, quickly think: How I solve this?”

Nathan gives her a sheepish smile. “I feel like I should’ve reacted faster, because you’re right, nothing ever goes perfectly, and being in the hotel business, I for one should’ve known that. But I just—I froze. I’m sorry. I’ll do better next time.”

Ma leans over and pats him gently on the arm. “Is okay, Nathan, is because you not use to breaking into other people house, ya? Because you such a good boy. But Meddy—” She levels her gaze at me, her eyes narrowing. “Meddy should know better. She seasoned criminal already.”

“What?” I cry.

Ma holds up her index finger. “Kill Ah Guan, hide his body, lie to police...”

“Okay, okay, I get it.”

“But Nathan, he innocent boy.” Ma smiles at him and pinches his cheek.

“Thanks, Ma.” He beams at her. The little suck-up.

The van stops and for a moment, we all freeze, expecting more guards to storm us. But the only person present is a harried-looking man dressed in all black, who rushes up to our van and calls out, “Ayo, cepat. Don’t block the door. Other vendors are due to arrive.”

Sure enough, behind us, another van pulls up, this one with the words “Bella Flowers” painted on its side in curly gold font. “Right, let’s do this,” Fourth Aunt says, and we all look at one another and nod. Nathan opens the back door, and we climb out and start unloading the boxes of food.

Big Aunt approaches the man. “We’re from the Ritz.”

The man gives an exaggerated sigh and rolls his eyes.“Yeah, I can see that.” He frowns down at his checklist and draws an aggressive check mark. “Go through that door and to the right and you’ll find the kitchen. Do not go into any other room. Next! Flowers? Did you get my note about the hydrangeas—”

Big Aunt nods at us to follow her. We each carry three huge foam boxes, with the exception of Nathan, who’s carrying five to show off to my family. As soon as I step inside Kristofer’s house, the blast of AC cools me down, a reprieve from the sweltering tropical heat outside.

None of us breathes a word as we march as quietly and professionally as we can down the hallway. The boxes I’m carrying go right up underneath my eyes, covering half my face, and I’m ridiculously thankful for their presence. They feel like a shield, hiding me from any suspicious eyes. We pass by several doors, a couple of which are slightly open, and each time we near one, Big Aunt slows down and glances into the room. The first one is apparently a storage room filled with skis and surfboards. The second one is a pantry stocked with sacks of rice, beans, and the usual staples. The third and fourth doors are firmly closed. Big Aunt hesitates, stopping and staring at the third door until someone behind me calls out, “What’s the holdup?”

I startle and turn around to see a scowling florist, face red under the weight of a massive vase of flowers. “Hey, can you guys stop snooping around and just keep going, please?” she snaps.

“Oh, yeah, sorry. Of course.” I move forward, nudging Ma, who is in front of me. Ma nudges Fourth Aunt, who nudges Nathan, who thinks better of nudging Big Aunt.

But just at that moment, the door opens and two womenwearing servers’ uniforms walk out. They pause when they see us, and one of them says, “Are you headed for the kitchen? Follow me, I’ll take you there.”

Right, so these two rooms whose doors were shut are presumably the helpers’ bedrooms. We follow the helper, who leads us around a corner, and suddenly, we find ourselves in a magnificent kitchen. There are huge picture windows all around, as well as a skylight, and the entire room is bathed in glorious sunlight, the white and gray marble counters and floors gleaming invitingly. Big Aunt gives an audible gasp and stands stock-still. This is probably the kitchen of her dreams. We file around her and put down our boxes on the counter with relief. Behind us, the florists are led toward the living room to set up their floral structures.

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