Page 49 of The Good, the Bad, and the Aunties

“Uh.” I hesitate. “No? They’re for the guests.”

She snorts. “Right, well get out of our way, please. Clearly you’re not supposed to be here. Go on out there to the garden. The boss is out there with some of his business partners.” She jerks her head toward a huge set of glass doors leading out to an expansive backyard. Outside, the Olympic-sized pool glitters in the bright sunlight, and I spot a handful of people swanning around.

“Thanks.” I nod to Ma, Fourth Aunt, and Nathan, and we walk away from the stressed-out decorator and into a far corner of the living room, away from the hustle and bustle. “Okay, so we should definitely avoid going outside because that’s where Kristofer is.”

“This house is a lot larger than Google Earth made me think it would be,” Nathan sighs, looking around us.

He’s right. I’d thought that Google Maps had given me a good idea of the size of Kristofer’s mansion, but coming inside is like entering a separate dimension where it’s much larger than it should logically be. As we glance around us, I can feel our spirits dropping. From our vantage point alone, I can spot three different staircases. There’s a grand staircase that winds up to what I would assume are the bedrooms, but next to the grand staircase are two others, leading down. My mind scrambles in increasing panic, trying to figure out where Second Aunt might be. Upstairs or down? To make matters worse, the surly decorator is still glancing our way and muttering to herself as she angrily sorts out the paper lanterns.

“We’re still being watched,” I mutter to the others.

“Okay, we gotta act fast,” Nathan says. “Ah, choose which direction to go... upstairs?”

“Aiya,” Ma says, “if we all go up, they will be wondering why. Better we split up—”

“Uh-uh,” Fourth Aunt says. “I’ve seen the movies. We are not splitting up. That’s how they kill us.”

“Why you so ridiculous?” Ma snaps. “We splitting up, only way. Come, Nathan, you with me.”

“Wait, what?” I have to stop myself from grabbing Nathan’s arm as Ma herds him away.

“Don’t worry,” he murmurs, “I’ll look after her.”

It’s not Ma I’m worried about, I want to say. But there’s no time to argue, and before I know it, Nathan and Ma are already halfway up the grand staircase and I’m left on my own with Fourth Aunt.

“Alright, well.” Fourth Aunt shrugs. “Let’s go, kiddo. Second Aunt isn’t going to save herself.”

I can only nod, not trusting myself to reply. Is it weird for a couple of servers to walk down to what must be the basement? I guess it is, but we don’t have many other options, and it’s not like we could turn around right now and go back up, not without attracting the attention of the decorator, who obviously hates her job. We walk as confidently as we can past the decorator, who frowns at us as we go, and together, Fourth Aunt and I walk down into the darkness of thebasement.

14

As it turns out, the basement isn’t like any other basement I have ever seen. First of all, after the darkness of the stairwell, there is a sudden glow of light, and what greets us is... the pool. Or rather, the sides of the Olympic-sized pool, which are made of glass, like a giant aquarium. It’s a disconcerting sight, made more so by the realization that the pool was designed to allow people to watch anyone swimming inside it from the basement. It’s kind of creepy. Thankfully, no one is currently swimming. A few paces away from the huge tank are lounge chairs and coffee tables.

“Phew,” Fourth Aunt whistles as she places her tray down on one of the tables. “This is something else, isn’t it? Kinky.”

“Ew, Fourth Aunt.”

“What? I like it. I can just imagine myself swimming in this pool and giving some hot guy a good show while he watches from the basement.”

Oh god. I stop myself from gagging at the thought of my aunt doing some sex dance while some creep ogles her from the other side. Please, universe, make her stop talking.

“You know, the more I learn about this Kristofer, the more I like him.”

“Uh, you mean the man who had Second Aunt kidnapped? You like that man?”

“Tch, okay, that part we can work on. But come on, look at this place. Sexy, isn’t it? Something about this whole place feels so carnal. So—so virile.”

“Oh god. Please, Fourth Aunt, stop, ew, ew. Argh.” I shake my head, trying to dislodge the words “carnal” and “virile”—words I never, ever want to hear coming out of Fourth Aunt’s mouth again. Gah, too late, this terrible moment is forever seared into my brain. “Anyway, we need to keep looking.” I hurry away from the eerie blue light of the tank to the far end of the basement, which is shrouded in darkness. Normally, I would be more hesitant, wary of the dark, but right in this moment, all I can think of is getting away from Fourth Aunt’s sexual fantasies.

I must have crossed some sort of threshold unknowingly because the lights turn on abruptly. “Oh!” I squawk in surprise, stopping in my tracks. In front of me, lights blare on row by row, revealing a massive collection of sports cars. “Holy crap.”

“Whoa.” Fourth Aunt hurries over, her tray of drinks entirely forgotten. She stops in front of a neon green Maserati and whistles before reaching out to stroke it.

“Fourth Aunt,” I hiss. “Don’t. Touch. Anything!”

“Meddy,” she sighs. “Sometimes I wonder if you’re truly related to me. How can my own niece be this boring? Live a little, sweetie. Your ma isn’t here to guilt-trip you into being amini version of herself. When was the last time you stroked one of these beasts, huh?”

My mouth opens and closes, and I sputter for a bit before I manage to spit out, “Never. And it doesn’t matter because it’s not ours. What if you set off the car alarm?”

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