Page 9 of The Good, the Bad, and the Aunties

“Abi, what in the world are you doing here?” she yells in Indonesian.

Abi spreads his arms wide and says, “Your sister Mimi told me that you’re back in Jakarta, so I have come to pay my respects for Chinese New Year. I had to see you, look upon your beautiful face once again, my darling Enjelin.”

Wow, he’s really laying it on thick. I can’t help but grin at that. Then I feel insane for smiling, because hello, the guy’s literally called the “Scourge of Jakarta.” Also, after the awful mess that was our wedding, I have had enough of anything that might even come close to being illegal.

“Aw, he’s a romantic,” Nathan says, wrapping his thickarms around me. I lean back against him, taking comfort from his warmth.

“He’s a mafia lord,” I remind him.

“You’re ridiculous,” Second Aunt snaps, but her grin is visible miles away. “Go home to your wife!”

Abi looks affronted. “I don’t have a wife. I’ve been in love with you all my life. When you left the country, you took my heart with you.”

“Tch,” Second Aunt snorts, flapping fiercely at him with one hand while primping her hair with her other hand. She sniffs, turning away to hide the smile that has taken over her face. In a weird way, the scene is reminiscent of the iconic balcony scene inRomeo and Juliet, and I can’t help but go a bit soft inside at how obvious Second Aunt’s glee is.

Then another window slides open and Big Aunt’s head pops out. “Who is being so noisy?” she booms.

Even from all the way in my room, I can see Abi tensing, straightening up. “Uh, greetings, Dajie,” he says, using the Chinese honorific for “Big Sis.” “I’m sorry for disturbing you—”

“He’s here to pay his respects to me,” Second Aunt snaps. “Nothing to do with you.”

Big Aunt seems to swell up in size, her ample chest ballooning as she draws breath. I feel Nathan’s chest stiffening. Everyone must be holding their breath right now. I for one am glad that Big Aunt’s displeasure isn’t aimed at me.

Abi hurriedly says, “Ah, I’m here to pay my respects to all of you. Dajie, please accept this token of my respect.” He waves a hand, and black-clad men climb out of the second car, each one carrying a hamper piled high with an assortment ofgifts. He turns to Second Aunt and his face softens. “And for you, my lovely angel, Enjelin.” He waves again, and yet more car doors open, a stream of gift-bearing men striding toward the house.

Second Aunt’s mouth purses and she bats her eyelashes demurely while Big Aunt scoffs. Next to Big Aunt, a huge puff of hair pokes out, followed by Fourth Aunt’s face moments later. “Dajie, I asked him to come here. Would it be okay if he comes inside the house? Join our family for Chinese New Year?”

Big Aunt can never say no to Fourth Aunt. With a long, dramatic sigh, Big Aunt nods. Then she calls down, “But no hanky-panky, you hear me? There are children about.”

Nathan laughs. “Hanky-panky? Haven’t heard that one in a while. And isn’t Second Aunt in her fifties? Surely if she wants hanky, it’s fine.”

I sigh. “When will you learn that you’re never too old to be scolded like a child by Big Aunt?”

In the driveway, Abi is nodding vehemently and saying, “Of course, we will be so well-behaved.” He comes out of the car with a triumphant grin. Flanked by the staggering procession of gift-bearing men, Abi Lincoln Irawan, the Scourge of Jakarta, walks up the front steps and into our family home.

The next few minutes are spent in a flurry as Nathan and I rush to get dressed for the Chinese New Year celebration. Ma has prepared outfits for us that she deemed appropriate: a qipao for me and a button-down shirt for Nathan, both of them made out of the same red batik cloth. I love batik, I adore how every piece of batik cloth is unique, each one hand-painted with painstaking detail. This particular one is illustrated with a golden dragon, swirling like smoke and adorned with plumerias.

“Wow,” Nathan says when he’s zipped me up, his eyes riveted on my chest.

“Stop staring, you perv.”

“But—I—but you look—wow.” He swallows.

I smack his hand, laughing. “None of that. We need to go downstairs and meet everyone now.” I wiggle a bit, trying to get comfortable in my dress. All that rich French food hasn’t done my waistline any favors.

Nathan gives a rueful sigh. “Okaaay, if we must.”

Noises come through the wall and I shush him. Together, we go to the wall and press our ears against it. Next door is the guest room shared by Second Aunt and Ma, and evidently, they are having some sort of crisis.

“Aduh, I can’t believe Mimi didn’t tell me she asked Abi to come!” Second Aunt is wailing in Indonesian.

“Typical Mimi,” Ma says.

“How do I look?”

“You look very good, Erjie.”

“Only ‘very good’?” Second Aunt wails again. “I need to look more than just ‘good.’ I need to look... you know, effortlessly gorgeous.”

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