Page 45 of You Will Never Be Me

What should I do? Howdo I handle this? Should I even be handling this? The front door opens, startling me so badly that I give a little shriek of surprise.

“Sorry!” Liv says, with a half grimace, half grin.

For a second, I just stand there, staring at her dumbly.

“You okay? Sorry I’m a little bit late. Someone was a grumpy-pants this morning,” she says, turning to Rain and kissing the side of her head. “Weren’t you, sweetiekins?” She looks up at me and frowns. “What’s going on?”

“Mer’s missing.” It’s only when the words are out of my mouth that the reality of them hits me. It’s official. Out in the world. Meredith is missing.

“Oh my god, I know!” Liv cries. She hurries inside and plops Rain in the playpen. “Where’s Sabbie?”

“Napping.”

“Aww. Well, you’ll just have to play on your own while Mommy works, okay?” she says to Rain. When Liv walks away from the playpen, Rain whines and crawls over to the fence, pulling herself up and reaching out for Liv. “Not now, sweetie, Mommy has to work.” Liv sighs, then looks at me. “Any advice on how to handle this?”

“Oh.” I shake myself a little. Focus. One thing at a time. “Uh, maybe give her a snack? I’ve got some veggie melts. Rain can use Sabbie’s high chair.”

“See, Aspen? You make it look so easy,” Liv says.

I grit my teeth and go into the kitchen to fetch the snacks while Liv lifts Rain from the playpen and settles her in the high chair. I pour out a handful of veggie melts onto the tray, and Rain happily shoves one in her mouth. Liv turns to me and says, “So anyway, oh my god, Meredith! That is the craziest thing. You guys were so close! Did she say anything to you before she was—oh my god, I can’t even say it.” She lowers her voice into a scandalized whisper. “Before she was taken?”

God help me. I swear if I don’t control my temper, I’m going to end up shaking Liv so hard that it snaps her skinny little neck. “No. We weren’t really talking by then.”

“Oh yeah. You guys had that fight.”

“Well. I wouldn’t call it a ‘fight.’ It was more like a disagreement.”

“Po-tay-to, po-tah-to.”

Again, I grit my teeth. I almost flinch when Liv reaches out and squeezes my shoulder. “You must be distraught,” she says.

Must I? I don’t know what I must be. If I were distraught, would it come off disingenuous, especially since Meredith and I hadn’t even talked to each other for the last few months? No. Livis right. I must be distraught. No matter what, Meredith was my best friend. Any normal person would be devastated if their best friend disappeared, even if they weren’t talking at the time. I nod, pressing my lips into a tight line to make it look like I’m trying to hold back tears. “Yeah, I’m a mess.” I turn away and sniffle.

“Oh my god, of course you are. You poor thing!” Liv says. “What are you going to say about it?”

“Say about it?”

Liv waves her phone in my face. “Online? You’re going to post about it, right?”

Fuck. Of course I need to post about it. It’s obvious, now that Liv’s said it. I can’t just keep quiet and continue posting recipes for diabetic-friendly quiches. “Right,” I say quickly. “I don’t even know. I mean, like I said, I’ve just been a mess about it, and the police came over this morning, and—”

“The police came by?” Liv squeaks, not even bothering to cover up her excitement. “What did they say?”

“Not much. They asked if I know of anyone who might have a grudge against Mer, and then they told me if I think of anything, I should call them. And it’s so…it’s just so surreal, you know? I don’t—it hasn’t really sunk in yet.”

Liv nods slowly. Then something dawns on her face, and she turns, stands next to me, and holds up her phone.

“Wha—”

“Come on, we’re going to do a post now. Together.”

“What? No.”

Liv glares at me. “Your best friend is literally missing. Probably kidnapped. You need to say something about it. And you promised that you’d help me gain more followers, so I don’t see why we shouldn’t kill two birds with one stone.”

“Because”—I gesture vaguely, scrambling to try to come up with a legit reason, other than that she’s being a complete psycho— “I don’t even know what to say yet.”

“Aspen, this is exactly what you need to do. No more being fake, remember?” Liv raises her eyebrows and gives me a pointed look. “Say something straight from your heart. No rehearsed lines.”

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