Page 55 of You Will Never Be Me

The two detectives look at each other. “The coroner’s report isn’t out yet, so we can’t say anything definitively,” Detective Garza says.

“Oh my god,” I moan. “Meredith.”

“I’m sorry this is so hard for you,” Detective Garza says. “But we do have a few more questions. Do you think we can keep going?”

I nod, my face still a picture of sorrow. “Yeah. I want to help any way I can. I—do you have any suspects yet?”

“We’re looking at a few leads. With cases that are as high profile as this, there tend to be a lot of voices thrown into the mix.”Detective Garza studies me, and I can’t tell if she’s buying my act. “Can you recall, at any time after your falling out with Meredith, did your paths ever cross?”

I mull her question over. The answer, of course, is yes. They crossed multiple times. We were often invited to the same events, the same parties. I decide there’s no point in lying; they’d find this out soon enough. “Yes, here and there. We sometimes were invited to the same parties. But I respected her space. I knew she didn’t want to talk to me.”

“Other than parties?” Detective Garza says. “Anything else?”

I shake my head. “I can’t think of anything.”

Her eyebrows raise. “We’ve been studying Meredith’s movement in the weeks leading up to her disappearance. And there were a few things we found somewhat interesting.”

There’s that sense of danger again, the lizard brain stirring, tensing up at the presence of a predator’s attention. “Oh?” I say.

“We’ve been talking to a lot of her contacts,” Detective Garza says, “and a few of them mentioned that they got to know Meredith because they happened to run into her while they were waiting for a meeting with you. Apparently, you didn’t show up to these meetings, and Meredith happened to be there, too, so they ended up working with her instead. Does that strike you as strange?”

Oh god, oh god. Run. Run now. Run fast. Somehow, I manage to sit still, though my fear is an all-encompassing entity, swallowing me whole into its red mouth. I shake my head slowly. “I’m sorry, I don’t understand.”

“If it happened once, that would be nothing—just a coincidence that she happened to be at a place where you were supposed to meet with a sponsor. But we’ve now talked to threeseparate people who said this happened to them. That’s more than a coincidence.”

“It’s a pattern,” Detective Clarke agrees. They both look at me, and I swear they’re not blinking.

“I—yes, I suppose that is strange. But I’m not sure what to make of it,” I say, adding a stupid, girlish laugh. Look at me, I’m just an airhead.

“Do you tend to miss important appointments, Aspen?” Detective Garza says. “Because these people seem to be bigwigs in your industry.”

No, you condescending cunt, I don’t tend to miss important appointments. Nobody gets to where I am by missing important appointments.I give that stupid, self-deprecating laugh again—the one that makes me sound like I have an IQ of seventy—and say, “Oh, you know how it is. Like I said, I have three kids, and the inside of my head is like, argh!” I mime a head explosion.

“I get that,” Detective Garza says, not letting up. She’s like a dog with a bone. “But don’t you think it’s strange that Meredith was at all of these meetings? What are the chances of that?”

“Yeah, that is strange.” I nod, my mind whizzing ahead. How do I play this? Act ignorant. “I don’t really—I’m not quite following. I don’t understand how she could’ve possibly been at these places.”

“It’s curious, that’s for sure,” Detective Clarke says. Of the two of them, he’s still the more sympathetic one, so I focus my poor, confused gaze on him.

“I really don’t know what to tell you, I’m sorry.” I look down at Sabine and stroke her back.

“Fair enough,” Detective Garza says. “That’s for us to figure out. But one more question before we move on from this.” Sheleans forward, going in for the kill. “What did you do when you found out that Meredith got these sponsorship deals and partnerships over you?”

When is a question not a question? When it’s an attack. It slices right into my gut, carving me open, exposing all of my insides to the world. For a second, I just sit there, frozen, with no idea how to respond. Then I give myself a mental shake and force a confused smile to my face. “I don’t know what you mean, Detective. I didn’t really do anything.”

“Walk me through what happened on your end. You had these meetings set up, yes?”

I nod.

“And you didn’t turn up because, what, you forgot?”

No, it’s because Meredith sabotaged me. God, I need a way out. I can’t sit here and be attacked like this anymore. But then it hits me. The perfect answer. “Well, actually, it’s more like I realized they weren’t the right partner for my brand. Branding is very important in my line of work. I’m all about being authentic to my fans. I can’t be selling products I don’t believe in.”

Detective Garza narrows her eyes. “And you didn’t bother calling to cancel the appointments?”

I give an apologetic grimace. “I probably meant to, but then forgot. Like I said, it’s a mess up there,” I say, pointing at my head.

“So when you found out that Meredith got the sponsorship deals instead of you, were you upset?”

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