Page 60 of Vera Wong's Guide to Snooping (on a Dead Man)

“Well,” she says finally, “they say don’t worry, it happen all the time.”

“What happens all the time? People splashing your shop with red paint?” TJ says.

“Well, not my shop, but yes, they say this kind of thing happen to all shops.”

TJ frowns. “I don’t think it does. I’m surprised they’re not taking it more seriously.”

“Dad,” Robin says, “I don’t like the idea of Grandma being here all by herself, especially when someone’s clearly out to get her.”

“Yeah, I don’t like it either,” Lomax says. Next to him, Kit nods solemnly.

TJ gapes at them. What are they asking him to do here? “Imean, yeah, I’m not a fan either. Can you stay with your son for a while?”

“Oh, no,” Vera says. “Terrible idea. He just move in with girlfriend and I need them to make babies. They can’t make babies if I’m there.”

Oh lord. TJ massages his temple. “I think this is somewhat more urgent than your son and his girlfriend, uh, having…relations.”

“Nothing more urgent than me having grandbabies,” Vera snaps.

“It’s okay, Grandma,” Robin says. “How about you stay with us?”

TJ shoots Robin a very meaningful look, which she blithely ignores.

“I cannot do that to you. There are obviously people coming after me, maybe dangerous people,” Vera says with a dramatic flourish. “If I lead them to your house, how can I forgive myself?”

“Yeah, you’re right,” TJ says quickly. “Thanks for being so selfless.”

“Then we’ll stay here with you,” Robin says.

“What?” TJ says.

“I’m going to have a sleepover at Grandma’s.”

“No,” TJ says.

Robin crosses her arms and raises her chin at him. Then she seems to rethink her stance and lowers her chin, gazing up at him with Bambi eyes. Damn it. “Please, Dad?” she says. “I’ve never done this before, and all the other kids at school often mention how they stayed over at their grandparents’ house and baked brownies and shi—I mean, and stuff.”

“Yeah, you can’t deny your kid that experience. That’s messed up,” Kit says.

She’s not your grandmother!TJ wants to scream. But then he thinks of how Vera had stormed into Robin’s school and laid down the law with Mr.Burns, and how she’d taken Robin out to buy bras, and he thinks of all the nutritious food Vera has cooked for Robin, and it hits him that…she is very much the grandmother Robin has always wanted. The grandmother he’s always wanted, in fact.I must be going mad, he thinks, as he says, “Okay. But obviously I’m gonna have to stay over as well. Is that okay with you?”

Vera shrugs. “As long as you don’t get in my way.”

“Yes!” Robin whisper-shouts. She turns to Vera. “Can we bake chocolate chip cookies?”

“What is that European nonsense? No.”

Robin deflates.

“We will make Chinese jiggly sponge cake. I am your grandmother, so this is now your heritage also, you better learn.”

Robin grins again. “Okay, that sounds awesome.”

TJ slumps in his seat. This is going to be a long day.

•••

Later that night, after Robin has been tucked into Tilly’s old bed and TJ has helped clear away the thousand and one dirty dishes from the feast that Vera had insisted on making for dinner, TJ settles down on the couch. His stomach is still uncomfortably full from dinner, and despite himself, TJ has actually enjoyed spending the day at Vera’s. He’s felt, lately, that Robin is growing up way too quickly. Gone was the sweet, shy kid he adored, and in her place is a sarcastic, eye-rolling teen who kind of scares TJ shitless sometimes. But Vera has a way of somehow peeling back the years and bringing out Robin’s inner child. Around Vera, Robin is sweet and sincere, and she smiles with abandon. It makes TJ’s heart crackopen to see how eager Robin is for some motherly affection, how hungry she’s been. How could he have missed that?

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