Page 32 of Worth Fighting For

“Um…sure. Sometimes, yes.”Please, universe, please do not let this lead to where I think it’s leading to.…

“Would you like to herd our cattle? It is time they go back to the barn. There are coyotes here, you know.”

“Oh.” The word comes out as a half gasp, half squeak. My gaze scrabbles frantically from Uncle Hong, to the cows, to Shang, who is watching with his usual stern expression. “That…”

“Sounds excellent!” Mushu cries, popping up out of nowhere. She claps me on the back before squeezing my shoulder. “You can totally do that, can’t you?” She glares meaningfully at me. “I mean, it’s just cows. They’re such peaceful animals, aren’t they?”

“Uh, yeah. Of course.” I nod slowly at first, then more convincingly as I digest Mushu’s words. Yes, what could possibly go wrong? Cows are known for being calm, slow creatures. I am a vice president at a private equity firm. I know how to put my foot down, how to protect my territory, how to make my way in a male-dominated profession. And I have, after all, read up on ranching, and one of the many ranch duties I’ve read about is herding cows. I want to laugh when I think of how I brushed it off as “an easy task” when I was doing my research. Nothing about it seems easy now.Okay, stop it. You are Ranch Mulan, remember? You can do this. What would Baba say?“It would be my honor.”

Soon, the Li family, along with Mushu, is gathered to one side, watching me as I approach Xingxing.

“This is gonna be good,” James says nastily.

“Tsk,” Auntie Jiayi says, glaring at James. Then she turns her attention back to me and calls out, “It’s all right, Zhou, she looks big, Xingxing does, but she’s a softie, really.”

“She gives very good milk,” Auntie Chuang says, to the agreement of Auntie Jamie and Auntie Lulu.

“Oh yes, very creamy,” Auntie Lulu says. “If you let it sit for a while, the fat will separate and you can skim it off the top—”

I try my best to shut the chattering out as I scramble through my memory for what I read up on just a day ago, but now that I’m actually here and needing the information, what crams my mind instead are random useless facts about cows. They, um, they sleep standing up and pranksters sometimes try to tip them over. That’s not information that’s useful for me right now, brain. Right. Um, they taste really good? Yet another useless fact. Right, well, I have to, ah, I have to take the bull by the horns. After all, that’s an actual saying, so it’s got to come from ancient wisdom, right? Except these are cows, not bulls, and they seem to be missing actual horns. Well, never mind, I don’t need to take it quite so literally. I just have to establish that I am the alpha of the herd. Now, finally, bits and pieces of my prior reading come back to me. I need to be in the right frame of mind—calm and confident.

I stand up straight, lifting my chin, and stare Xingxing right in the eyes. Well, in one eye, since Xingxing’s eyes are on either side of her head and I can only really glare into one at a time.

“Well, hello, Xingxing,” I say in a firm voice. “I am Hua Zhou, and I’m here to herd you.” Hmm, that might have come out wrong. “Not ‘hurt,’ but herd. Just to clarify.” I’m officially talking to a cow. Then again, people talk to their dogs and cats, so is talking to a cow really much worse than that?

Xingxing doesn’t give any indication of having heard anything I just said. She chews on her mouthful of grass placidly, and again it strikes me how real it is, how large a cow’s head is, and how huge its tongue is and how loud the grass-chewing is. I can actually hear the rustle of the grass in Xingxing’s mouth, and somehow this fact is really disturbing. I need to just do this.Just do it, like Nike says.

With a slightly trembling hand, I reach out and pat Xingxing gingerly on the side. Well, that was the intention, anyway. What ends up happening is as soon as my fingertips touch the warm solidity of the cow, my survival instincts kick in and I hurriedly jerk my hand back. I didn’t expect the cow to feel so…cow-y. The fur is a lot bristlier than I expected, and it’s just so solid and so there.Stop this right now. Everyone is watching. You need to do this now. I reach out again, ignoring every instinct inside me that’s screaming:Argh, run away!This time, I steel myself and lay my whole palm on Xingxing. I release my breath. There, that wasn’t so bad.

Xingxing raises her enormous head and nudges my arm.

“Good Xingxing,” I say, patting her shoulder. Or the back of her neck? I’m not entirely sure what part of the cow I’m touching. “Um, let’s get you back to your bedroom. Uh, barn.”

I could get used to this. Xingxing’s gently nudging my arm, and it’s kind of cute in a way. A gentle bovine way. Hah, this is easy. Don’t know why I was so scared before.

Then from the corner of my eye, I see James move so he’s behind Xingxing. Before I can ask what he’s doing, James raises his hand and does something to the cow’s back.

Xingxing utters a monstrous bellow—a sound so deep and guttural that my bones shudder with the resonance—and charges. Part of my brain manages to think:She’s not charging, she’s just walking.But it hardly matters; Xingxing is surprisingly fast, and she was standing right in front of me, so whether she’s walking or charging, it’s terrifying in its suddenness. With a yelp, I leap backward—or did Xingxing shove me, that stupid cow?—something catches the back of my legs, and before I know it, the sky is tipping, and I’m falling, falling—

There is a thick splash and cold muck envelops me. Spatters of mud rain down on me, splatting my face, some of it going into my open mouth. The breath is knocked out of me, and for a second, I wonder if I’ve fallen straight into the depths of hell. The only sounds I hear are my own ragged breaths.

Then noise floods back in. People are shouting. People are laughing. People are going “Aiya!” and “Are you okay?” and “Xingxing, come back!”

Mushu appears, looking down at me. “Hey, cuz, how you doing?”

“Help,” I manage to choke out of my mud-filled mouth.

She leans down, grabs my arms, and lifts. With a groan, I scramble back up to a standing position. I spit out as much mud as I can and wipe my face before blinking at Mushu and trying to not think of how the stench of everything is now clinging to me. “Tell me how bad this is,” I whisper.

“You remember that time in college when we went to that house party and I drank all those Jäegerbombs and got sick in the back of the Uber and the smell was so bad it made you puke, too? This is worse. I mean, you’re literally covered in cow poop.”

“Oh god. I thought it was mud.”

Mushu looks at me with pity. “Sure, let’s go with that.”

James, Shang, and a handful of other people come toward us. James and the other cousins are doubled over laughing, slapping each other on the arm. Shang is staring at me, his thick brows heavy and knotted.

“Damn, Zhou, what happened?” James says. “Did you getbull-ied?” He cackles with laughter at his own joke.

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