Page 53 of Worth Fighting For

“That day at Little Chang’s,” Shang says, “I hated how my uncle said it’s the woman’s job to serve the food. When it comes to my family, I’ve gotten used to biting my tongue and keeping my head down, but I should’ve spoken up that day. I’m sorry.”

Flames lick up the sides of my face. “It’s okay, it’s not your…” As soon as I say it, of course, I realize that actually I appreciate the apology and that the only reason I’m waving it off is because I’ve gotten used to thinking that I don’t deserve apologies. But I do. And so I take a breath and say, simply, “Thank you. That means a lot to me.”

“I’ll do better next time,” Shang promises.

I bite my lip, unsure what to say, but there is a warmth spreading out from my belly down my arms and I feel so incredibly safe right now, as though I can let down my guard. When was the last time I felt this way? Even with Mushu, I’ve always felt a slight distance, a divide because we are such different people with such different values in life. God, what am I thinking? Shang is part of the Wutai Gold clan, a company I’m actively trying to acquire, so I most definitely cannot let my guard down around him. Not to mention I have no idea what will happen if we do acquire Wutai Gold. Why have I so foolishly thought that this charade was a good idea? Oh, right, I assumed that once I took care of the acquisitions, I could hand the account back to my dad and wash my hands of it. But now the thought of that seems laughable, especially given how much time I’m spending with the Lis.Not just the Lis, my mind whispers,but a very specific Li. A horrible realization begins to dawn on me. I might have to tell Shang the truth eventually. The thought is so dreadful that I shove it deep, deep down as soon as it arises. I give myself a little shake and force a polite smile at Shang but don’t say anything else.

With Shang riding next to me, it seems as though he and his horse have set a steady pace and Slugger is no longer trying to go too fast or too slow. I loosen my stranglehold on the reins, wincing as I stretch my fingers.

For the next hour or so, we spend the ride chatting easily about everything from our families to our hobbies (mine: SoulCycle and painting; his: anything that has to do with cooking). Once in a while, we lapse into a comfortable silence, and it feels as though we’ve known each other for years instead of mere days. Again, I’m not thinking:What would Baba say?orWhat should I say in this situation?My mouth is forming words without checking in with my brain, and the feeling is so joyous, like fireworks going off inside me.

We’re riding through what feels like a whole enchanted forest, complete with winding trails and tall, majestic redwoods, with sunlight streaming through the leaves in dappled golden spots. The air is sparkling cold and refreshing and above us are various birdsongs and insect chirps. It’s the most beautiful place I can remember seeing, and I can’t get enough of it. For the first time in years, I feel like I can really put everything, all of the petty worries and the bullshit of the finance world, behind me. Because I have to focus so fully on not falling off Slugger, it’s almost a meditative state where my mind is forced to not wander back to the everyday concerns of the real world.

I’m feeling extra optimistic and happy when Shang reins his horse to a stop. I do the same, pulling Slugger’s reins back. “What’s up?” I say.

Shang nods to the distance, where a river has come into view. Light reflects off its surface like a million diamonds, and the sight is so beautiful that I sigh appreciatively.

“So gorgeous. Is this where we camp? Next to the river?” I say.

“Um, sort of. Campsite’s on the other side of the river.”

“Oh, okay.” I’m not sure why he looks so worried. “Is the bridge not entirely sound or something? You look kind of concerned.”

“Um, more like there isn’t a bridge,” Shang says.

I blink. “No bridge.” I narrow my eyes. “I don’t—So how do we get across?”

“We gotta go in the water and ride to the other side.”

I laugh. “Very funny.”

Shang’s expression doesn’t change.

All the easy, pleasant feelings I’ve been experiencing evaporate. “Shit, you’re not kidding.”

“Nope.”

I look at Shang, then at the river, then back at Shang. “People literally drown in kiddie pools.”

“Can you swim?”

“Yes.”

“Then you’ll likely be okay.”

I’lllikelybe okay? But then I think better of saying it. After all, I am here to make a good impression on him and his family, and just because we’ve bonded for a bit doesn’t mean that Shang isn’t going to be unimpressed if I fail to do this one thing. As much as I hate this, it’s time for me to start askingWhat would Baba do?again. Fighting every survival instinct inside me that’s goingNoooo, I summon up a confident smile and say, “Okay, great.”

We ride up to the riverbank. Up close, the water looks a lot faster and deeper than it did from a distance. I can’t believe that just moments ago, I was admiring how beautiful the river looks. Right about now, it looks anything but beautiful. A better adjective would befierce,or more likelydeadly.

Shang gets off his horse and comes round to mine. For a second, I wonder if he’s about to tell me it was a joke after all and that of course there is a bridge, but instead, he takes his horse’s reins and ties them to Slugger’s. “There you go, all you have to do is follow me.”

“Great,” I manage to say. I take in a breath. I can do this. I am not the kind of person to shy away from things like these. I’m here because I charged headfirst into this situation, assuming my father’s identity, and I need to see it through. You can’t be not brave if you’re not afraid.

“Ready?” Shang says, once he’s back on his horse.

“Yup.”

Shang signals to his horse to start going forward and they descend slowly into the water. I urge Slugger forward, but there’s no need as the reins between the two horses pull her, and we head for the river. Unlike me, Slugger seems to have no fear of the water, trotting in quite happily. Within moments, I find my legs submerged in freezing cold river water. It’s so piercingly cold that the breath is knocked out of me in a gasp.

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