Page 72 of Worth Fighting For

I’ve wanted to make partner for so long that for a second, the magnitude of his words doesn’t sink in. And when it does, I want to scream with both joy and frustration, because this is not how I wanted to make partner. For years I’ve thrown everything I have into the job, first one in and last one out of the office, coming in on weekends when needed, only going home when the rest of the world seems to already be asleep, and I was happy doing it because I was doing a damn good job. And now that I’m finally getting what I wanted, it doesn’t feel at all good. It feels terrible, it feels like a curse. It’s tainted, and it’s all my own fault.

But Baba is gazing at me with a familiar expression, the same one he’s worn whenever I do something right—when I fell off the beam in gymnastics but then climbed on again and finished my routine, when I graduated from Princeton, when I closed my first deal at the firm. It’s a look I treasure, and I don’t have it in me to ruin it, not just this moment. And definitely not when my father is still recovering.

So I hug him and say, “Thank you, Ba. I’m honored.”

“I’m so proud of you,” he says again, patting my cheek. “You’re the best kid a father could hope for.”

“Only because I got the best dad.” I pat his arm and straighten up. “I have to run now, but I’ll drop by the house later this evening, after the office.”

Baba smiles. “See you later.”

I keep my head down all the way to the parking lot, my face burning with shame and anger at my brashness, my foolishness. Once I reach the privacy of my car, I grip the steering wheel tightly and wail. Looking up, I see that I’ve shocked a passerby. I grimace and mouthSorry, but they hurry away.

I utter a heavy sigh and let my head drop onto the steering wheel. There’s a sharp rap on the car window. Startled, I jerk back up. It’s Ma. I roll down the window, my heart thudding so hard I feel it in my throat. “Hi, Ma. What are you doing down here?”

“You left your phone,” Mama says, holding it out to me.

“Oh, thanks. I would’ve been in trouble without it.” I take the phone, keeping my eyes on it instead of Mama.

“What’s going on, Mulan?” Ma says.

“Nothing,” I say quickly. Too quickly.

Ma merely looks at me without saying anything, until I crack. “It’s just—Everything’s a mess, okay, Ma?”

“Oh, Mulan. What is it? Tell me.”

“No, I can’t—Oh.” I watch helplessly as Ma marches around the front of the car and slides into the passenger seat.

She closes the door and folds her hands on her lap. “Okay. Now tell me.”

I squeeze the phone to keep my hands from shaking. “I don’t even know where to begin,” I whisper. Though Ma knew of the lie that I had cooked up to save the acquisition, I’m pretty sure she doesn’t realize the extent of the whole charade and how out of hand it’s gotten by now.

“How about you start by telling me about this nice boy you’ve been seeing?”

I jump, my head swiveling to face my mother. “You knew?”

“How can I not know when my own daughter is in love?” Ma gently tucks my hair behind my ear.

“Ma,” I sob, feeling like I’m all of five years old. “I think I’m going to screw it up.”

“Start from the beginning.”

And so I do. I tell her everything. Ma listens with rapt attention, uttering a small gasp here and there, making a sadmmnoise when appropriate, but whatever she does, she keeps her hand on my arm, and the love on her face never fades, not even a little, not even when I tell her about how Shang is falling for me as “Zhou.”

When I’m finally done, I still feel terrible, but I feel a little lighter, like the weight crushing my chest has lifted a tiny bit, just enough to allow me some breathing room. I let out a long, defeated breath. “So there you have it. And now I just don’t know what to do.”

“Oh, Mulan,” Ma says again. She places a hand on my cheek. “You do know what to do. You’ve known all along.”

I lift my gaze to meet hers, and I know that Ma is right. I do know what to do. “I need to come clean to him. To his family.”

“Yes,” Ma says. “And you need to do it before you finalize this deal. A business partnership cannot happen based on a lie. As for the boy…” She looks out of the windshield with a little smile. “I think if he loves you, he’ll get over it.”

“It’s a pretty major lie to get over. Technically, he doesn’t even know my name.”

Ma laughs.

“Ma!”

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