Page 111 of Alice Chen's Reality Check

Chapter Twenty-Four

Hell Is the Consequences of Your Own Actions

The weather has taken a turn for the worse by the time we circle the island. The rain is falling in sheets, and the wind is whipping so hard that I can practically feel the helicopter fighting it. But it manages to stay in the air, even as we’re all starting to question whether it’s safe to be up here.

By the time we’re deposited just outside the villa, the feelings that have been simmering inside me have come to a boil. Lingering fear from nearly plummeting to my death. Confusion over Chase’s confession. Doubt about Leah’s promises of safety. Anger at Daniel for letting Selena win and then threatening to leave the show. And worry that Daniel was right to do so.

I hate feeling this vulnerable, and I can’t get the sensation of falling, the shriek of the wind whistling in my ears, the complete and utter loss of control, out of my mind. It’s easier to embrace my anger at Daniel than to think about that.

Daniel and I both manage to keep our shit together until we make it to our room. Then I turn on him.

“You let Selena win?” I get up in Daniel’s face, letting my fury carry me. I know the moment I stop being angry, I’ll crumble from all the fear and anxiety I have bottled up in me.

“That’swhat you’re mad about?” Daniel folds his arms. “That Icouldn’t bring myself to toss my ex-girlfriend into a mud pit? I’m not ashamed of holding back.”

“Chase pushed me in, and I was fine,” I say furiously. “We could’ve lost because of you!”

“Because of me?” Daniel scoffs. “What about you? We made a deal to work together, and you sold me out for the chance to win twenty thousand dollars.”

I deflate a little at that.

“All I did was, like, lightly betray you,” I say, but my heart isn’t in it anymore.

“And here I thought you were all in,” Daniel says.

“It was the logical choice. Going after the twenty thousand dollars versus the uncertainty of staying in the game.”

Daniel rakes a hand through his hair. “I know, but that doesn’t mean the betrayal doesn’t sting, Alice.”

“I’m sorry. But I’m not ashamed of my choice,” I say, echoing Daniel. I’m just ashamed I didn’t tell Daniel sooner. “I told you, I really,reallyneed the money. You don’t understand.”

“I want to understand, Alice,” he says, laying a hand on my arm. His gaze is on me, and he looks so open and vulnerable that I can’t help but actually want to tell him.

The thing is, I didn’t even tell Cindy how bad the diagnosis was, and we’re best friends. At the time, it had all felt so terrible and overwhelming that I hadn’t wanted to acknowledge it. I did what I always do. I acted like I was fine, like everything was going to be okay, and just handled things myself. Fortunately, even without knowing how bad things were, Cindy could tell I was struggling, and she was there for me.

I should’ve trusted Cindy. Maybe now I can trust Daniel—with the truth, with my friendship, and maybe even more.

I stop thinking and start talking.

“It’s my mom. She has cancer. Stage four metastatic breast cancer. The treatment has been brutal, and we don’t have good insurance. It’s not just my student loans, Daniel. These medical bills, I’m being buriedby them. And I need the money to get my mom the best possible care that I can. I want her to be able to stop working and just rest.”

I lapse into silence, dropping my gaze. I’ve run out of steam, and I’m ready to just crawl into bed and never come back out. Then I feel Daniel wrap his arms around me.

“I’m sorry, Alice. I’m so sorry,” Daniel says. “You’re right. I didn’t understand.”

I crumple against him, feeling everything—all my anxiety and fear about leaving my mother to come here, my powerlessness to do anything real to help her, my guilt for betraying Daniel over twenty thousand dollars.

His embrace is soothing and warm, and we’re pressed so close together that I can hear his chest rumble as he says, “Thank you for telling me.”

“When you were talking to Leah—” I lift my head to look at him. “Would you really have left the show?”

“No, not without you,” Daniel says. “I was mostly bluffing. I know we can’t really walk away, legally speaking. The contract is pretty airtight, and we don’t have any hard evidence to give us cover.”

I nod, but I don’t ask the question that I really want to ask. The question that my mind keeps circling back to, like a cut in my mouth that I can’t help probing with my tongue. Did Daniel let Selena win because he’s still in love with her?

Because it would be totally reasonable if he is. It hasn’t been that long since their breakup. And Selena is amazing—she’s gorgeous, she’s funny, and she’s incredibly cool.

Not to mention the fact that my relationship with Daniel is completely manufactured for reality TV drama. Just thinking about how none of this means anything, that he’s just being sweet and considerate because I’m his fake girlfriend—it hurts.

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