Page 137 of Alice Chen's Reality Check

Purgatory Is a Reunion Episode

Three months later, I’m behind the set of theDawn Tay’s Inferno Hell-Allspecial. Not because I want to be here, but because I’m contractually obligated to show up for any and all post-show promotional reunions. I listen to the introductions and initial commentary of all the other contestants who didn’t make it into the final three, and nervously await my cue to walk onstage.

Cindy screamed when I told her that, despite several ongoing legal proceedings involving nearly everyone who’d been onDawn Tay’s Inferno, the network was going to be allowed to run the Dawn Taylor tell-all—I’m sorry,hell-all—and that none other than Tony Warren ofCats with Hatsfame would be the host. Well, okay, Cindy’s scream was mostly because I was going to be seeing Tara’s favorite (in her words) “Canadian cat lover, reality TV host dad,” and less about my anxiety over the legal ramifications of the show, but still.

I wanted to scream for entirely different reasons:

Chase is going to be there.

Daniel is going to be there.

The special is going to be filmed live.

I haven’t seen either Chase or Daniel face-to-face since we parted ways so many weeks ago, but it’s the third item that’s particularly terrifyingto me. If I cross my legs wrong and everyone sees up my skirt, or if I lean over too far and the camera has a view down my shirt, anyone watching will see it, and the moment will live on the internet forever, and oh, god, what if one of my students sees it? And of course, there are no retakes if I flub my lines, and no handy coaching from the sidelines from Leah.

Backstage, I can feel anxiety lodge itself like a hard knot just underneath my rib cage. In my head, I start to make a list:

Do not say anything your lawyers told you not to say in regard to Peter Dixon, Dawn Taylor, or the show

Take a deep breath in between major ideas when you talk

In fact, take a deep breath now

Figure out what you were instructed to do with your hands when sitting because you forgot—

My internal list-making is put on pause when Selena walks in, and now I’m nervous for a different reason. I haven’t seen her in person since she was knocked off the bridge during the Heresy Challenge. In fact, my last memory of her was the look of betrayal on her face when it was revealed that Chase was still in love with me.

But now she looks completely different. She’s wearing a slinky, champagne-colored dress dress that falls around her like shimmering water. Her hair is in long tousled waves, and she looks poised and confident. And to my surprise, Chase follows her in, looking smart in a matching champagne blazer. They’re holding hands, and when they catch me looking, Chase grins sheepishly.

“Hey, Alice,” he says, waving.

---