Page 10 of Crocodile Tears

“But the party’s only just started,” Leo protested.

Alex zipped up his jeans. “And now it’s over. Here.” He found a spare cash card and tucked it into Leo’s pocket. “Take a taxi home.”

“You’re such a shit.” Leo pouted.

“Yeah, that’s me, I’m a shit – takes one to know one.” Alex saluted him. “Now, get the fuck out.”

“That stuff they say about you is all true – youarea spoilt brat.”

“Fuck off.” Alex lurched over to the kitchen sink and threw up in it, spectacularly.

Between retches, he saw Neil ushering Leo towards the door. When Leo launched into a tirade of abuse, Neil grasped his arm firmly and threw him out, then slammed the door shut behind him and locked it. Leo kicked at it a few times, growling obscenities, and then there was silence.

“You do know it’s three a.m., don’t you?” Neil demanded, turning back to Alex.

“So what?” He turned on the tap and put his head under it, the cool water clearing away some of the fog.

He drew back, shook the droplets out of his hair, and gave his flatmate his best puppy-dog smile. “I’m a student, Neil. Staying out ’til three a.m. and bringing home rubbish one-night stands is what we’re supposed to do. Well, not you, obviously.” He pushed away from the sink and stood there, wondering if it was the room swaying or him.

“You’re too busy being a good little uni boy, aren’t you? Studying hard, making Daddy proud, hmm?Mydaddy, that is, not yours. Still, at least one of us is making him happy.”

He gave a sly grin, but apparently, he was the one swaying, because Neil caught him just before he fell. Neil grabbed hold of his arm, threw it over his shoulder, and walked him into his bedroom.

“Mmm… bed… good.” Alex sighed happily as Neil dumped him on it, then bent down and began untying his shoelaces. “You gonna tell Dad I was kissing boys?” he asked as Neil pulled off his shoes and slung them to one side.

“Not just kissing,” Neil said reprovingly.

“Nah.” He grinned. “Not just kissing.” He gave a loud hiccup. “You gonna tell him? That’s what you’re here for, isn’t it? Daddy’s little spy.”

Neil stripped his jacket from his shoulders, and a small white packet fell onto the floor.

“Oops,” he said as Neil bent to pick it up.

“You shouldn’t be taking this shit,” Neil told him sternly, placing it on the bedside table.

“Aw, relax – it’s just crocodile tears.” Croc was the drug of choice in the clubs, and all the students were taking it – except Neil. Alex had been using it for years. It made him feel mellow, with no bad trips. The only side effect was the painless, free-flowing tears it caused, hence the name. “You gonna tell Dad about the croc?” he pressed, gripping Neil’s arm.

“I’m not the spy you think I am,” Neil replied stiffly, pulling his arm away. “I’m your friend.”

Alex laughed incredulously as Neil unbuttoned his shirt.

“My friend? You’re Daddy’s paid spy – the indie he’s putting through university.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that. After I’ve finished my degree, I’ll work in your father’s company for ten years to pay him back. You know I couldn’t afford to go to university without his help, let alone Oxford. I’m on a standard indentured servitude contract, nothing to be ashamed of – and I’m not,” he announced stiffly.

“Aw, come now – don’t be coy,” Alex snorted. “You don’t have to wait until you’ve finished your degree before going to work for Daddy – you’re already working for him, aren’t you? Your job is to spy on me, isn’t it?”

Neil removed his shirt and threw it in the direction of his shoes.

“How much does he pay you?” Alex demanded curiously. “How much for reporting all my bad ways to Daddy? What’s the going rate for a Judas these days?”

“Shut up, Alex,” Neil snapped, kneeling down to undo his fly.

Alex leaned back with a grin. “Are you enjoying this, Neil? I think you are.” He thrust his groin up into Neil’s face. “Do you want this? Mmm?”

Neil drew back. “That guy was right – you really are a shit.”

“Yeah, I am. Now fuck off, there’s a good little serf. You’ve done your duty – Daddy will be pleased with you. You’ll get a pat on the head and the money for another term’s tuition.”

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